Friday, August 31, 2007

The Adventures of Super Pickle

Today we took Gryffin to the St Louis Science Center for the first time. They were having a Marvel Comics exhibit so it was just as much for Mike as it was Gryffin. They both had a marvelous (hee hee) time. The Science Center also has a big dinosaur. The same one they had when I was a kid going on field trips. Gryffin really likes dinosaurs but not this one. He thought it was pretty cool, until it roared. That scared him a bit but he did like spotting Rex from far away.
He stocked up on the booty. A Spiderman poster, a picture of a comic book cover with him dressed as Spiderman and a new Stegosaurus stuffed dinosaur from Build-a-Bear. They actually have one of those inside the Science Center. Its pretty cool though, when it roars it doesn't scare Gryffin. He likes that dinosaur so much he insisted on taking it to the ice cream shop down the block tonight.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

More potty talk.

It's Thursday. $10 off coupon day at the grocery, get the laundry done for the weekend day and hopefully get to take a nap day.
Last night was the first night in a while where Gryffin didn't wake up 1/2 way through, screaming in a urine soaked bed. He did wake up a couple times but as long as I'm not forced to changed drippy sheets in a semiconscious state its all good. He even woke us (Mike) up at 5:30 to sit on the potty. That makes me happy on two levels: 1. Mike got up and helped and 2. Gryffin didn't try it on his own. Last time he was in the bathroom by himself, unknown to us, he flushed the splash guard from his potty down the toilet. Now he has to pee with his legs closed and from what my husband told me, its not the easiest thing to do. But it did bring me to the realization that everything in the world comes in two sizes: flushable and nonflushable.
Luckily, Gryffin went back to sleep for a little bit and so did I. I was awoken at 7 by the pitter patter, which is really more of a thud-thud-thud, of Gryffin running into the family room asking where his fire truck was. He got a new fire truck yesterday and its kept him busy ever since. I swear if he could've figured a way to sleep with it comfortably he would have.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Off the hook, sort of.

Tonight was supposed to be my egg-donors visit since last week she had to cancel due to illness. Apparently she is still ill because she just called and cancelled this visit too. Woo-hoo! Yes, you might feel that I'm being cold in my wording. I am. This woman is always sick. Even when she is feeling healthy the state of her mind keeps her in the ill category. When I think of my muther I don't get the fond, warm fuzzies like most people when they think of theirs. I get the bitter, you f-ed with my head, cold shivers.
She feels that everything, I mean EVERYTHING is about her. She spent a half hour complaining about a going away party at church for a friend. No, HER friend. She was upset that she wasn't 'in' on the planning and didn't even find out about it until it was announced one night after service. She was upset that she wasn't asked to serve cake or punch at the party. OH MY GOSH! I don't believe a word of any of it as my sister-in-law took charge of the party planning because muther drops the ball on everything. This was not a party for her but for a member of her church yet she made it seem like she was the only one that even cared for this person. AAAaaaaa, it just blows my mind.
She proceeded to spend an hour whining, saying that she should just die because no one calls her or comes to visit or comes running to see if she needs anything when she's sick. Boo-hoo. No one does this because even if we did she would still find something about us to bitch about. Why go out of our way to be abused?
Then she started on the whole 'I was such a wonderful Mommy' spiel. That is when I just had to shut up because even though she never taught this too me, I don't kick a dog when their down. I just gave grunts and uh-huhs until I thought my phone was going to explode from all the crap coming over it.
Anyway, I'm done with this rant. I'm off to make some Beef Stroganoff for dinner. I hope reading this didn't put you in a bad mood because it was therapy for me.

Keep it in your pants!

A quarter after 5 this morning Gryffin comes in our room whimpering. I scoop him up and carry him back to his room where he tells me that his bed is wet. I'm thinking this can't be true, he's not even wet but I check none the less. Sure enough, his bed was soaked and his diaper was dry. I get Mike, who proceeds to change Gryffin's jammies, there was a little wet spot on the side. I change the bedding and get milk. I tucked Gryffin in and climbed back in bed. Not five minutes later I hear him crying and opening his door. I get up and as I step into his room I step into something cold and wet. Little man had peed on the floor in his favorite spot. His little legs were dripping. I may have, OK I did, mutter a profanity. I know, I know. This will cause my child irreparable harm and make him talk like a sailor. Anyway, Mike heard my bad mommy skillz and came in. He would've spurted a potty mouth too but I warned him of the danger zone. Bless his big heart he got a towel and mopped it up while I did the same to Gryffin. Now Gryffin is awake, telling me so even and I'm trying to explain to him that playing in his diaper is bad and 'B' has to stay in his diaper. 'B' is the name he gave his well, you know. He looked up at me and said, 'I take care of B'. Yup, kid you sure do. I reiterated my comments that 'B' needs to stay in his diaper and that he will be going back to bed when he just smiled and asked, 'Mommy, you loving me?' Melt melt melt. I told him that yes, I loved him but that right now he wasn't making it easy.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Like I need more pressure about this!;_ylt=AlYGalpTNBvCo8brG4XlbbBvzwcF

I don't want to call these fanatics fanatics but ARE YOU KIDDING? Personally, I bet their homes smell like toilets from all the oopsie poopsies that have got to come with this sort of practice. Then again, the one lady just took her kid behind a tree. Maybe if I had done this with Gryffin he wouldn't have flushed the splatter guard from his potty down our toilet last night but just fertilized the lawn instead.

1 down 1,000,000 to go

General contractor is gone. Bye bye! After he tucked tail and ran I kept having nightmares about him sneaking back and lighting the house on fire. Yeah, I'm paranoid. Last night was the first night of real sleep I've had in a long time.
Electrician is scheduled to start tomorrow and I'm hoping the experience won't give me more stress. With the housing market the way it is, in the toilet, we are hesitant to put it on the market, at least at a price that would make us happy anyway. The subject of renting came up, was shot down by Mike and later brought up again by him. Neither one of us is really thrilled with the idea of it. I've seen the way my renter friends have treated their abodes and I've heard the horror stories of the messes my rentor friends have been left with. One involved a mummified turkey in the oven that had turned into a condo for maggots. Hope you're not eating and reading this. Anyway, I think if we come across someone we know who is looking for a place to live then we would rent to them but we aren't going to actively advertise it.
Or maybe we will just use my Dad's sales tactics and slap a '$1,000,000 or Best Offer' sign on it.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Take the money and run

Here we sit waiting on evil contractor to show up for his money. He's not getting as much as he wants, that's for sure.
Knucklehead left the wax ring from the toilet on our hardwood floor for days and now there's a big grease spot that won't come up. When I mentioned it he commented that our floors needed to be refinished anyway. NOT THE POINT! Before you no stain, after you stain.
The list that I provided him with this morning specifically stated that the living and dining rooms needed second coats of paint. Heck, I even pointed to the spots that looked like crap when I let him in this morning. Did he do it? Does the moon glow plaid?!
When he came over this afternoon to tell me he was done he said that the cutoff valve under the bathroom sink was leaking and that we needed a new one and a new hose line for the toilet. Funny, didn't need that before you put your grubby little paws on it.
My dogs could've caulked the baseboards better than this numb skull. Jeez! I keep telling you, he's got kahunas. Big ones that are in a vise right now.
We are going to tell him. "This is how much you are getting, take it, run and never show your face around here again or you get nothing but a call from our lawyer". And then we are having him sign a receipt stating that the job was paid in full.
We don't joke about bringing in lawyers. Not just because we don't like them either. Lawyers and their profession should be the last possible resort not the first. Which is exactly the opposite of how my egg-donor feels. When she is in an accident, she calls her lawyer before the cops or insurance company. Anyway, I digress.
Mike asked me not to be present when he talks to The Evil One because I tend to get a little emotional. Hmm, go figure. That's fine, I won't be there but don't think that I won't be spying with 911 ready on my phone. After all, last time I dealt with a contractor I did have to call 911 and file a report because he was threatening mine and my families lives. Why are psychotic contractors magnetically attracted to my house?!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Sunscreen is for intelligent woosies.

Wednesday was spent with Beqi,, her husband and son. They came over and we let the boys trash the place like rock stars while we drank coffee.

Yesterday was spent in my mother-in-law's pool. Gryffin had a great time swimming and playing with his cousins and Grandma. I had a good time too but am paying a price today. Being the super ultra wonder Mommy I am, I made sure to slather G down with sunscreen. Being the super ditzy dingbat that I am, I forgot to put any on myself. It was a long night of readjusting me and the covers because things kept touching me. You know its really hard to lay down without anything touching you.

Today the contractor from hell is 'supposed' to finish. Its promising since he actually showed up. I handed him a list of everything that still had to be done and everything that had to be done again. We are to the point where we just want him done and gone.

I am also going to be taming the laundry monster today. I would much rather go to Trader Joe's and get coffee with Robin and Clara Jane but I've already been served with a notice from the Homemaker's Union that if I don't get it in gear they will take away my apron.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007


I have been granted a reprieve tonight. Muther is sick as usual so tomorrow's play date that I'm hosting will just be for fun instead of therapy. That and to keep too many witnesses around so I don't have opportunity of physically harming the contractor from hell. Not that I would ever do that. I talk the big talk but when it comes down to the walk I run away.
Speaking of said contractor, he yet again has asked for an advance on the job. He has promised that he would finish tomorrow but had to subcontract out the floor because of his incompetence. He asked for $300, he's only owed $450 total, and wants to pick it up tonight. Too bad, so sad. By the time he asked Mike had already left work and our bank is in the neighboring state so all of our checks have holds put on them by the local banks. Of course, we could always hit an ATM to get the cash but I wasn't about to tell him that. I just told him that we would have to discuss it when Mike gets home. Amazing this guy can walk with those kahunas.

Attack of the 5'4" Contentment Killer!

Have you ever met someone who no matter what is never happy? A person who sucks life out of everything around them? A person who constantly complains but is never willing to do anything to improve their situation? A person who thrives off of drama and conflict? A person who feels the world revolves around them and owes them a better life?
Yup, you guessed it. My muther is coming tonight.
I take comfort in the small things like knowing that when she comes to visit my house will be clean. Maybe not mother-in-law clean but vacuumed, clean toilets and clutter put away. I take comfort knowing that she will most likely be absorbed with Gryffin and only mutter a meager 'hello' at me. I take comfort in knowing that she leaves around 7pm because that is (as far as she knows) when we get Gryffin ready for bed. Lastly, I take comfort in knowing that I will have a nice glass of wine and relax after she leaves.

Monday, August 20, 2007

7 down, several million to go

Monday, again. I have a love/hate relationship with Mondays. I love them because I get to go to Robin's for a play date and hang out with really funny, enjoyable people. I hate them because there is always a void when Mike has to go back to work. I would much prefer he find a way to work from home that would still pay the bills but I just don't think it possible. I would also love to find a way for me to do the same, but again I'm dreaming. Then again last week I did win the lottery. Only $7 but its a start!

Friday, August 17, 2007

Breaking out the shovel

Its official, contractor dude is not coming out until Sunday (if then). I just had to call Mike and make him talk me down from a hysterical hissy fit. I want to scream, I want to puke, I want to scream puke all over this guy until he is covered in as much nasty as my beloved old homestead.
We were hoping to work on bringing my studio over this weekend but with plaster dust, construction debris and tools everywhere it would be an emergency room visit waiting to happen.
I'm going to the shed and get the shovel for a big hole under the porch. No one would smell him over the dog poo. Then again, you can smell him over the dog poo now so I better not.

Just call me Zombie Momma

I will call last night- The Night of a Thousand Nightmares. While I was at the grocery, Mike and Gryffin watched an old kids movie, The Mouse and the Motorcycle. It was from the early 80's and had a talking mouse that duh, rode a motorcycle and was constantly being chased by what Gryffin referred to as a monster cat. This cat looked and sounded demonic. And I have know some demonic cats in my life. Anyway, I didn't think anything of it until 2:30 this morning when Gryffin woke up screaming his little lungs out. When I asked him what was wrong all he would say was Monster Cat in between sobs. Oh great. From then on, about every 20-30 minutes, he was waking up screaming. It was a long night of diapers, milks and back rubs trying to get him back to sleep for more than a few minutes. No luck. He promptly declared at 6:15 this morning, "Momma, I awake!". Great kid, that makes one of us.
Currently I'm slugging down some trucker strength coffee in hopes of at least faking consciousness until I can wrestle him down for a nap about 11. HOPEFULLY.
I'm also keeping my fingers, toes, eyes, hairs and whatever else I have muscle control over crossed that the contractor shows up today and gets that vinyl adhesive off my wood floor before it dries and I have to bury his body under the porch.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Plug your ears!


I finally heard back from the electrician. Wondered if my hearing aides were working when he quoted me the price too. This guy had done work on our current home and came highly recommended by our HVAC guys so we thought we would just go with him but...
Now I know all electricians are expensive, especially in this city of politics and permits, but jeez! Three and half months worth of house payments is a lot to switch around some hot and cold wires and install some GFC's and light fixtures.
Back to square one. I've already set up one estimate for tomorrow and have to fax our city inspection sheet to another place for their estimate. I'm really hoping this guy from today is smoking something and we can find someone else that can competently do it for much less. My hopes aren't high as when I told most places I called what city the job was in they responded that they work everywhere but here. Oh yeah, there's strings a pullin' round this town. Unfortunately, I'm just caught in them.

Adventures in contracting...

The last we left our heroine she was stuck in a pile of poo with an avalanche of construction materials about to over come her...
You gotta give our contractor some credit, the man must have kahunas the size of bowling balls because he asked us for an advance. He wanted $400 to buy the remainder of the supplies he will need to finish. And oh yeah, his phone bill before it was shut off. After conferring with Mike I told him that we would give him $250 if the floors were finished and he would give us a definite date of completion. When we had finished dinner we headed over there to take a look at the work. Living room floor- acceptable I suppose. Bathroom floor- STILL POPS! Holy macaroni, I thought Mike was going to pop when he asked the contractor if he had rolled it with a 100 lb roller and the guy said no, just a little 3" roller and his body weight. We reluctantly gave him the money, only because it was our only hope of getting the job done and left. I could literally see steam coming out Mike's ears and I told him that this guy wasn't getting any more money if the floor still pops. After all, that was one of the specific things he was supposed to fix.
We were at Kohl's shopping when the contractor called and said that he was ripping up the bathroom floor (again) and will put down new underlayment. The guy also said that he would be picking up the cost of the new materials and flooring. (We sure wouldn't have.)
Now the really funny in all this is that this contractor keeps trying to talk Mike and I into buying in to his business. Yup, he's got some kahunas! Next time he tries telling me its only $30,000 to buy in I might mention that he would make significantly more money if he would get his finances organized and stop having to do one job three times. You're right, I won't. I don't want to get shot.

Monday, August 13, 2007

One step forward, two steps back into a pile of dog crap.

Today started out pretty good. Gryffin slept in and we had a lazy morning. The contractor actually showed up. We went to Robin's for an afternoon of eating, laughing and general goofing-off-ness. Then things went bad. Very, very bad.
As I was buckling Gryffin into his seat to come home Mike called and asked if I had seen what the workmen did today. Duh, no I was gone all day doing the goofing-off-thing. I could tell by Mike's tone that it wasn't good.
Lets just say the craftsmanship was only slightly better than if I had let Gryffin loose with a hammer and power saw and paint. I won't go into details, there are too many to list. And if I did list them my stomach would turn all over again and I really don't want to have to hit the Pepto because of it, again. I take it back, I will go into one little detail. Many of you will remember the bathroom floor. You know, the one that sounded like popcorn when you walked across it. That was what these dudes were supposed to be fixing. Believe it or not, they made it worse! Not only did it still pop, it had big globs of adhesive under it that created mushy bubbles that made it feel like you were stepping in dog doo.
Mike called the contractor and had him come over to look at the results. To make a long story longer, the guy couldn't deny the big pile of crap that his workers called progress. He ripped up the bathroom floor in front of Mike and apologized for the shoddy work and said that he will be out tomorrow to fix the problems. Of course, we didn't even mention all of the problems so when he shows up in the morning (at least he better show up) he will be presented with a list of all the inadequacies.
I was so wanting this to be done and over with. It will be, I just have to take a deep breath and relax. Huh, me relax. Funny. I think it would be easier for me to go blond sometimes.
Amazing thing happened yesterday. A rabid animal chased me into the pool. It was so hot I couldn't stand to sit on the hot concrete with only my feet in the water so I borrowed one of Dianne's old suits. Mike was so looking forward to seeing me in a swimsuit for the first time but alas, I put on a huge t-shirt over it to protect me from the sun.
It was a lot of fun splashing around with Gryffin watching him swim. Yes swim! All by himself! I was so proud of my little guppy. He got slightly annoyed with me slathering him down with sunscreen at every opportunity but it kept him from getting burnt.
Since we invited ourselves over to Dianne's we at least brought dinner. Brats, cole slaw and beans. She whipped up a salad and that was that. Gryffin stuffed his face like a starving pig, had seconds and a piece of chocolate cake. About 7:30 last night she and I were curled up on her new big a-double snakes couch with glasses of wine watching the Food Network dreaming of cooking a gourmet meal together. On the way home a short time later Gryffin fell sound asleep and didn't wake up until 8:15 this morning. Hmmm, we may have to go swimming more often.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Over the river and through the woods...

It looks like we may be going out to Grandma's today. Gryffin has been totally stir crazy and begging to go to her house. Who can blame him, she's got a pool! With triple digit temperatures a pool does sound nice. Of course, I don't own a swimsuit. But then again, my idea of swimming is sticking my feet in the water. Unless I'm being chased by a rabid animal that can't swim.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Leftover vacation pics...

I'm not a professional photographer, I just play one on vacations.
All of these were taken either at my Dad's or up the street from him.
Today has seen a plethora of nothing. So rather than just spew about politics, what I was going to cook for dinner or the bodily functions of our household I thought I would treat you visually instead.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

The early bird catches the coffee

Up this morning early.
Granola bars and ice tea cooling.
Walked up to the market and picked up some coffee filters- can't run out of those again!
Now I'm off to make some freezer lasagna while listening to The Grateful Dead preview on Sirius. I have been waiting DECADES for an all Dead channel.
Then Robin and Clara Jane are coming over to play... looks like its turning out to be a nice day.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Makes me want to throw some tea overboard...

I hate politics, local, national, international, family, whatever... I hate politics.
A few years ago Mike and I gutted and remodeled our old kitchen. We improved our home, made it safer, worth more and prettier. And now the city is punishing us for it all because we didn't pull a permit. Of course we didn't pull a permit. We don't think government should be allowed in OUR home. We pay our taxes so they will leave us alone, its a lot like racketeering in my opinion but I won't go there.
Now that we are trying to get the house ready to sell they are trying to make us bring it up to current building codes instead of building codes suitable for a nearly 70 year old house. From what I understand this is kind of illegal, but try to convince any government agency they are doing something illegal and you will get punished even more.
Government can take your land, a good portion of your livelihood and in some cases, your youth and life. What do they give us in return? Red tape.

Monday, August 06, 2007

Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!

Amy Winehouse, I love your music but damn girl, EAT A CHEESEBURGER!
I do think they should dedicate a hole in ozone especially to your hair though.

Troubles in a bubble and blow away...

I'm trying to remain calm this morning. Not easy. About 3 this morning I awoke with visions of city electric inspections flashing violently before me. I had dreamt that the city was suing us and had confiscated our home because we didn't have a 'city qualified electrician' do the work. It was like they had us wear big scarlet E's pinned to our clothes.
This afternoon Gryffin and I are going to a play date at a friends down the street, , which I am really looking forward to but my social anxiety is trying to break through my chest like an alien. I like meeting new people and doing new things, now if I could just convince my nerves of that life would be much easier.
All of this combined with my hairdryer not wanting to work this morning and a big pee spot on Gryffin's rug (don't know if it was him or dog but either way- Gross!) I'm ready for some coffee. Frangelica or Bailey's in it would be better but I'll just drink it straight for fear of trailer park tendencies. Hey, that would be a cool name for a band!

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Yeah, I cried.

I finished Harry Potter last night at midnight. It only took about three days of reading to do it and that was only because I kept reminding myself to slow down. I savored every word just as much as I dreaded them. The end, it can't be the end. Or is it?
That is all I will say on the subject as I have a couple loyal readers who are still waiting for their copy.
Yesterday we cleaned up the old basement and readied things to be moved today. Spending time in my glass studio, sorting, cleaning made me realize how much I miss it. I'm chomping at the bit to get everything over here and set up so when Gryffin starts back to Day Out next month I can get back to working on glass.
My dream is someday to open and artist's co-op. Buy a big warehouse and put in a gallery, a classroom and studio spaces. Make it a place where artists of every medium can come to share ideas, inspire others and hopefully sell some wares. Someday.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Dorothy Hamel returns...

I've decided that my hair looks like Dorothy Hamel's. I want to find some rocker-punk chick with tattoos to fix it. Sorry Dorothy, I love ya, had your doll as a kid but I've outgrown you.

Holy Crap Weazels, Batman!

Its hot. Really hot. Did I mention it was hot? Yes well, its hot. A lot of my family live out in the desert and they say its hot out there, which it is but its not like here where you can literally feel the air pressing down you. There when sweat evaporates it cools you off, here it NEVER evaporates and just makes you stink. I used to go out to Arizona to visit them every August and the heat never bothered me, even at 115. Here it hits 95 and mixes with the humidity to make it feel like you are wearing a sweater in a steam shower. But hey, after all this lovely talk about the weather would you like to come help us move stuff out of our old basement today?

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Diagnosis- Eeeeeeeww.
This is what Gryffin has. He's on the mend though. Last night he had black olives for dinner. Let me rephrase that: he asked for pizza for dinner so we got one wherein he only ate the black olives off of it. I didn't care as long as he was eating again. The blisters on his feet have already begun to heal and the ones on his tushy are looking a lot smaller. I see a light at the end of this tunnel!

The work crew showed up this morning and I'm really hoping they get it done fast and make it look nice. Mike worked late over there last night getting stuff cleaned up, moved out of the way or moved over here. I know, I know, you are all tired of hearing about this stupid move. Me too! But this people, is where I vent so get over it and know that when all of this is over I will have some other mundane thing to b*tch about.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Looking up...

Gryffin got a couple hours sleep last night and has managed to drink some milk this morning so things are looking up. At least he doesn't have a fever and has been able to eat some Jello. We have to go to the doctor at the end of the day and just wait. We are going to be the last people the doctor sees today. Oh yay.
We also have to pick up the paint and vinyl floor so the workmen can get started this week. That makes for a very busy day but at least I've got Mike here today to help out. He was so sweet and called off work because he knew I hadn't had any sleep and could use some help. Right now with Gryffin being cooperativehe is working in the basement cleaning. I think he is sick too, but of working every weekend on one house or the other and not getting time to play with Gryffin and me. Gee, a husband that likes chilling with wife and kid- look out world!
Its about 1:30 am. Gryffin has yet to sleep for more than 20-30 minutes all night. I am so worried. Monday he woke up with a low grade fever and massive amounts of drool. Teething, I thought. Today he woke up with a low grade fever, massive drooling, crankiness out the wazoo and refusing to eat. More medicine. Tonight, he won't eat or drink, ther are big white spots all over his tongue and throat and a rash from head to toe but no fever. Oh yeah, he's going to the doctor first thing in the morning. If the fever comes back we may be going to the hospital tonight. I am so worried I'm making myself sick too.
Right now he is camped out on the couch watching Shrek, as requested. He just can't get comfortable so he is going from one couch to the other. I am being called in a little pathetic voice so I'm off.