Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The Baby Jesus thinks laser light shows rock.

Last night we took Gryffin through Lady of the Snows Shrine to look at their Christmas light display. Thousands upon thousands of lights, he really enjoyed it. We promised to take him back when it wasn't drizzling so he could ride the camels and donkeys and catch the laser light show. Because nothing can tell the story of our Savior's birth like twinkle lights and lasers.
While driving home we passed some decorated houses that would make Martha Stewart shudder. Me too, for that matter. Therefore:

The Ten Commandments for Outdoor Holiday Decorating
1. Thou shalt not use one color, unless it's white. A house lit up all in blue makes it look cold and spooky, one all in red makes it look like Satan's going to be attending the celebration.
2. Thou shalt not decorate with burnt out strands of lights. Seeing a bare spot right in the middle just screams 'I don't care'.
3. Thou shall pick one theme and stick to it. Nothing is more confusing than seeing a Nativity, a Menorah and Santa all in the same yard. Unless maybe the Baby Jesus is in a cage match with Santa.
4. Thou shall be selective. Just because you have a bagillion lights and thirty seven light up snowmen doesn't mean you should cram them all into your 20x12 front yard.
5. Thou shalt not use animatronics. The animated, light up reindeer are just creepy.
6. Thou shalt not decorate with plastic flowers. This one holds all year.
7. Thou shalt not keep the Christmas decorations up through Easter. Nothing is more pathetic than seeing them in Spring, especially when you are still lighting them up!
8. Thou shall go all the way or not at all. Don't half-ass. Jesus hates half-assers.
9. Thou shalt not dress your plastic geese like Santa. In fact, just forgo plastic geese altogether.
10. Thou shalt not use inflatable anything! Everyone and their dog has those dumb inflatable decorations. Their nothing special and only give the impression that you still love to decorate your house in country blue and ceramic ducks.

No comments: