As most of my readers know, I suffer from depression, anxiety and general issues. Everyone has issues but no one's issues are as severe as their own. Except maybe their significant others who have it the worst because they have a loved one's issues to deal with on top of their own issues and this just a recipe for rough times. Sorry Mike.
For several weeks I have been a little down. On the surface I think I've been able to hide it pretty well but now its to the point where Mike is asking me if I'm ok because I look like I'm about to burst into tears and Gryffin is telling me not to be grumpy. From a 2 1/2 year old, thats deep.
I don't really know what has set me off this time. At least, I can't pinpoint one thing. I think its more of an accumulation of little things.
The house next door sitting there filthy, empty and dying.
My lack of a glass studio over here.
Money problems. Ok, so not problems since we have money for food and gas and the bills are paid. But money problems such as credit card debt. I'm not used to it and I don't like it. The last time I actually looked at our credit card bill I almost had an anxiety attack.
The payment for my hearing aides is due in November and I don't know where the several thousand dollars will come from.
I just feel like I'm out of control. I'm a control freak out of control and that has put me into a spin. A spin that makes me not want to do anything which is the worst thing I could do. Now don't get all worried, I'm not going over the edge. I'm just in a funk and this blog is a hell of a lot cheaper than a therapist, which I've tried before and all he wanted to do was write me a scrip and bill my insurance for $135 an hour. So you're just going to have to sit there and say 'uh ha' and 'I see' along with a couple 'How does that make you feel' and 'Tell me about your childhood'.