Take the money and run

Here we sit waiting on evil contractor to show up for his money. He's not getting as much as he wants, that's for sure.
Knucklehead left the wax ring from the toilet on our hardwood floor for days and now there's a big grease spot that won't come up. When I mentioned it he commented that our floors needed to be refinished anyway. NOT THE POINT! Before you no stain, after you stain.
The list that I provided him with this morning specifically stated that the living and dining rooms needed second coats of paint. Heck, I even pointed to the spots that looked like crap when I let him in this morning. Did he do it? Does the moon glow plaid?!
When he came over this afternoon to tell me he was done he said that the cutoff valve under the bathroom sink was leaking and that we needed a new one and a new hose line for the toilet. Funny, didn't need that before you put your grubby little paws on it.
My dogs could've caulked the baseboards better than this numb skull. Jeez! I keep telling you, he's got kahunas. Big ones that are in a vise right now.
We are going to tell him. "This is how much you are getting, take it, run and never show your face around here again or you get nothing but a call from our lawyer". And then we are having him sign a receipt stating that the job was paid in full.
We don't joke about bringing in lawyers. Not just because we don't like them either. Lawyers and their profession should be the last possible resort not the first. Which is exactly the opposite of how my egg-donor feels. When she is in an accident, she calls her lawyer before the cops or insurance company. Anyway, I digress.
Mike asked me not to be present when he talks to The Evil One because I tend to get a little emotional. Hmm, go figure. That's fine, I won't be there but don't think that I won't be spying with 911 ready on my phone. After all, last time I dealt with a contractor I did have to call 911 and file a report because he was threatening mine and my families lives. Why are psychotic contractors magnetically attracted to my house?!