I really wish I could be one of those 'good mood' people.  I wish I could hide my emotions better, or at all.  For my entire childhood, adolescence and teenage years I was great at it.  As I've gotten older that switch just doesn't work anymore.  It has gotten me into many an unpleasant situation but it has also earned me a lot of respect in that I don't pull my punches and will say what is on my mind. 
Right now I'm in a very stressful situation that shouldn't be that way.  I cannot go into any detail but I can say this, if someone bails your butt out of a really bad situation and gives you yet another chance to make good on your life you really should not disrespect their home and their wishes. 
In previous dealings with hard to deal with people (never go into business with 'friends'), a simple Thank You can go a really long way. 

GF Product Review- Arrowhead Mills AP Baking Mix

So in this journey to being Gluten Free I've tried many new things.  I did find a brand of bread that is tolerable (only when toasted) for sandwiches.  I've did find that corn pasta will hold up to a reheat whereas rice pasta turns to glue, but the consistency is still weird.  I've learned that my favorite candy bars are no longer a temptation because they all have malt in them, but at least I still have potato chips to munch.  I can eat as much fruit and veg as I can hold, but when it comes to salads I need to be wary of dressings.  I can eat meat, as long as its not deep fried in a glorious, golden, brown, delicious coating.  Yup, you guessed it- I'm really struggling with this.  I miss real pasta and pizza desperately!  That is why tonight I'm trying GF pizza.  I've tried the Bob's Red Mill Pizza Crust Mix before and it was a rubbery, heavy, bland dough.  Tonight I'm trying Arrowhead Mills GF All Purpose Baking Mix (found at Walmart for about $5 a box).  The box says that it can be substituted 1 for 1 with regular AP flour so that is what I'm doing.  I took my pizza dough recipe and used this instead of the regular flour. 
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So far, it is definitely a much courser dough and lacks elasticity due to the lack of gluten but it rolled out OK and transferred to the pizza stone without incident.
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First one is done pre-baking and seems a little heavy but at least the little piece I tried of it actually tasted like something close to the 'real thing'
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Much better than Bob's Red Mill.  It reminds me of the thin crust pizza at Marco's down the street.  I do think I need to cook the crust more on the pre-bake than just 8 minutes.  If I have to eat thin crust pizza, I like it to be crispy on the bottom. 
Verdict- good enough to keep trying to perfect!

Fit at 40

This is the year. No, this is THE year. This year I've made and have been forced to make many changes. I started karate- yay! I've never been involved in a sport before, unless you count power shopping. It has been an eye opener for my on many levels. I've come to see that I have even less coordination, but more strength than I thought. I can get up in front of a group of people and not be frozen in terror. I've also come to realize that I am in terrible, horrible shape. Yes, I wear a 6/8 but size doesn't determine health. This is where I fall drastically short.
Through some very stressful health issues, it has come to pass that I have Celiac's Disease, aka- gluten intolerance. For anyone not familiar with this I am allergic to the gluten in wheat. This means traditional breads, pastas, baked goods, many sauces, condiments, even makeup and shampoos are off limits now. You just wouldn't believe all the stuff they put it in! The other night I made bratwurst for dinner. I knew I couldn't eat the bun but before I realized it I couldn't eat it at all because I boiled them in beer before I put them on the grill. Beer is off the menu. Then we went out for Asian food, I knew I couldn't eat the tempura but without even thinking I had eaten two dumplings. No more wonton wrapped goodness for me.
I'm really struggling with taking a positive approach to this because there are so many things I can't have and none of the things I can have have impressed me. The gluten free products I've found so far taste almost as good as I think their packaging might. Gluten in bread is what makes it light and fluffy, it holds all the molecules together. Gluten free bread is heavy and crumbly and not something I can make from scratch without investing in a boat load of hard to find ingredients.
Don't get me wrong, I'm no looking for pity here. We all have things we have to deal with in life that suck, this is just mine and as I get more used to it I'm sure it will diminish in severity. Although, if any of you out there have any suggestions of recipes I would love to hear them.
Now onto the other part of this little equation. I'm turning a milestone this summer and I intend on doing it in style with the most fit, fab self ever. I've already taken on the challenge of karate and I am dead set on earning a black belt. I'm only a gold belt now. Of course, in order for me to accomplish this I have to be able to make it through a class without needing to pass out. This has actually been an issue for me a couple of times. My stamina is pathetic. My core is weak. My head likes to play little tricks on my and say, 'You can't do it'. I've seen the benefit of karate in my husband, a dramatic weight loss and dramatic attitude improvement. It has transformed his body, mind and life. This is what I want and need but I will never accomplish it by my only physical activity being going to the class twice a week for an hour.
I'm getting up off my arse. A wonderful friend has agreed to lend me her P90x DVD series to help me kick start this and build some muscle. The weather is getting lovely and the dog is getting lazy so I can take him for walks. The kid will be out of school soon and will be wanting to go to the zoo and the parks. All these and the fact that I have a house to keep clean and a vegetable garden to tend to should help me get where I not only want to be but need to be if I want to be that Fit and 40 person.

Losing faith in humanity one person at a time...

You know what?  I'm tired of fighting the same fight that should have been over a year ago.  I'm tired of being the one accused of being to lazy to sweep a floor but the one who has had to constantly clean up messes I didn't make.  I'm tired of trying to convince myself that people are essentially good.  And I'm tired of not being taken seriously. 
I'm not the person I was a year ago.  I don't like to cause trouble because I feel someone deserves it.  That is Karma's job.  I don't like to bicker and verbally spar in hopes of being heard.  If what I say isn't heard now then all I can do is enlist a stronger voice.  This is a road I do not want to venture down and I'm hoping and praying that I'm not forced down it.

Happy New Year!

2011 brought me a lot of change, some good, some good in disguise and some that will bring good eventually.  I parted ways with a few people this year and although it was tough going, I realize now that it opened up space in my life to let some really wonderful new friends in.  I've also embarked on some life changing endeavors.  I have begun karate and am now a gold belt.  I've lost 10 pounds through a diet that finally gave me a diagnosis of Celiac Disease for many health issues I've dealt with for years and as a result am learning a new way of cooking and thinking about food.  And I've crawled out of my social hole and expanded my communication skills.  All these changes are sure to bring about even more change during the new year, but since they are all positive I'm sure that this will be the best year yet.
I want even more change too.  While I will continue to expand upon last years positive changes I have a few more I would like to add in this new year.  I'm going to concentrate on tones, the tone in voices (myself and others) to make sure it correlates to what the words are saying and the tone of my body and my family's health. 
I wish all of you reading this the best year ever and hope that any goals you have set for it come to fruition. 

The Holidays are over.  YIppee!!!!  Still have some decorations to pack up and some toys to find places for but all in all it was all good. 

Gonna keep me out of the pool halls...

This week is going to be crazy!  As you can see for yourself-
Sunday (today)- make a sleigh load of cookie dough, finish decorating the house, wrap a few presents, make a menu for the week and for a party and a family dinner
Monday- wrap ALL the presents
Tuesday- video Gryffin's Christmas play which is the last day of school for the year
Wednesday- make some crafty goodness with Gryffin and start the holiday deep clean of the house
Thursday- finish up the crafts and cleaning
Friday (thank goodness Mike is off work)- shop and cook for the party tonight
Saturday- cook for the family Christmas dinner, set out cookies and carrots for Santa and his minions
Sunday (Christmas)- head over the river and through the woods to the mother-in-laws for more Christmas crazy
And in all of this madness I will be very thankful because I have all these wonderful, fun things to do for and with my family and friends.  So many of those I know are struggling with loss and hardship right now, I keep them close in my heart and prayers.  Merry Christmas to all and to all a good life.

Update!

I lost 10 lbs!  More importantly- I've kept it off thus far and with Thanksgiving in the mix I'm pretty proud of that.  This diet plan made me look at cooking (and eating) in a completely different way.  I couldn't use ANY fat or oils, not even non-stick spray, no fillers like rice, pasta or potatoes and no sugar.  I learned a lot:
1. Unless it is fried, it doesn't need oil.  Using a non-stick or well seasoned cast iron pan can eliminate the need for oils.
2. Cauliflower can be a lifesaver.  When chopped fine, it makes a great substitute for rice. 
3. Stevia tastes pretty good in coffee.  In fact, I now prefer it to sugar. 
4. Hunger is a wolf in sheep's clothing.  The first sign of dehydration is... hunger!  When a cup of hot tea didn't work a piece of fruit did.