My bread yesterday was picture perfect. Unfortunately, that was the only way. The inside was still doughy. I am so out of practice with my bread making and it is really frustrating to try to get back into the swing of it. I am trying again today though so keep your fingers crossed for me!

I hear Thanksgiving is Thursday?

Oh crap. This past week has gone by so fast I just can't believe it. Running ragged and stressed to the hilt, behind in the housework and errands, not done with the Christmas shopping (which was a goal) and not having what I need for Gut Buster Day. Looks like I will be at the grocery the day before Thanksgiving. Better than going shopping the day after though. Our big dinner is actually Saturday at my MIL's, but I am fixing a small one here for us and Pa.
So what am I doing sitting here typing rather than working? I'm eating lunch and letting bread rise. I'm a multi-tasker, don't ya know. Don't give me a guilt trip, I've already done and folded three loads of laundry today and got most of my grocery list made. Considering Gryffin is not in Day Out this week, that is a major achievement.
With all the family in town for Granny's service he got used to Daddy being home and gagillions of cousins all wanting to hold and play with him. He went into attention shock yesterday when it was just he and I. He didn't like it much. I think he is pretty much over it though. Thank goodness. Don't get me wrong, I love my kid. But sometimes he gets possessed by the Terrible Two's, which hit early, and turns into demon spawn. Luckily, it never lasts very long.
Ok, chili and pretzels are gone so I better get moving. I hope everyone has a great day and Holiday!

Sad yet beautiful.

Quietly and surrounded by loved ones, Granny found peace and freedom last night. It was very sad yet beautiful. She will be greatly missed by those here and welcomed by those above.

Rattling pipe dreams...

Ok, I want a bigger, newer house with a non-squeeky floor, pipes that don't rattle and lights that don't flicker. But before I can get any of this our lives have to settle down and I need to find more money from somewhere. Maybe I can start selling my worn once undies on Ebay like a woman I read about. She was making good money- at least enough to keep her in new undies and just think of the laundry saved. Yeah, you're right. Thats gross. Maybe I could offer to babysit a couple kids during the day. Hell NO, we would have to be 6 inches from repo before that would happen. How about taking all those dust bunnies my Huskies make, knitting sweaters and selling them? Nope, don't know how to knit and who would want a sweater that smells like dog. I guess my only answer is to quit looking at real estate web sites for houses I like. God blessed me with a non-leaking roof, a big back yard, a kitchen I get rave reviews on and a home that is filled with love. I should be happy with what I've got, take care of it and realize that the bigger the house the longer it takes to clean.

Stirring the pot...

Stand back, I'm about to stir the political pot!
I am glad to see that stem cell research was approved in Missouri. Whoa, don't get your panties in a bunch! Let me explain- eventhough I do not live in Missouri, 12 miles outside of it, I feel that this is a good thing. I do not feel that God will allow humans to be cloned or anything else- unless He wants it to happen. I believe that He is more powerful than the will or intelligence of the children He created. He would not let people accomplish any medical feat that would replace Him or destroy what He has created. Remember the rainbow, people. Now I know a lot (all) of my family is probably screaming in horror and wanting to banish me but God has a plan for this world. He gave us free will for a reason and did not give us super powers for other reasons. Although, I still don't see why He couldn't make me able to fly. That would be so cool. Anyway, He is in charge, regardless of what it may feel like at the moment. There is Divine Order, we just may not be smart enough, calm enough or willing enough to see it. Stem cell research may be the key to helping millions of people, it may be a bottomless pit of disappointment or it may just prove once and for all that God is the Father of this mixed up planet and His will be done. So sit back and enjoy the ride, He didn't put us here to be miserable.

Epiphany...

Last night I learned a little bit about myself. It used to be that I never got jealous- never. I remember one night, Mike was singing a gig at a Happy Hour hang out and one of his ex's showed up and gave him a big, slightly longer than appropriate hug and kiss on the cheek. I didn't even get a twinge of jealousy. And not because I knew I was hotter than her but I was confident in knowing that I had no competition for Mike's affection. Now, a different wind is blowing. Last night I realized after, I won't call it a fight, but an exchange of highly emotional differing opinions, that I was jealous. Not of another woman, 'cause I would just run her over with my Jeep, but of all the other things I've never had to compete with- and don't know how. Between Mike's job, his Grandparents, his whole family and Gryffin, I feel as if most of the time even when its just he and I it is still not just he and I. There is an everpresent cloud of stress that follows him around and overshadows the smiles and laughs that used to come so freely and often. I miss my husband. It seems several times a week he is caught in a tug of war between fulfilling his Grandson obligations and spending time with Gryffin and I. Having to choose, I will always want him to spend time with Gryffin first and I will take what is left. But may I just say again- I miss my husband. I know his family obligations are not permanent. Therefore, my epiphany was that I was being a pouty, jealous child and that if I didn't just deal and get over myself I would cause harm to the man I love. I was not being a supportive wife or friend and for that I appologized. We are always the most critical judges of ourselves but we are also the most reluctant to change. Not me- I want to be supportive and loving and that is what I will be. Maybe not overnight, but I am putting it in the forefront of my mind and heart and will work everyday on it.

What the heck was I thinking!?!

I am hosting a Holiday Cookie Swap. Yup, me. The girl with all the hostessing experience of a hermit with agoraphobia! What was I thinking! Ah well, I suppose there is a time in every woman's life when they have to don the Martha Stewart garb, sans prison stripes, and throw a party. Now the only party I've been to recently probably would not be a good thing to mimick as it was a Halloween costume party with much overindulgence in spirits of the liquid variety. Man, that was a fun party. At least the parts I remember. Anyway, has anyone ever done this sort of thing before? Got any suggestions for a newbie? Any wonderlicious appetizer recipes?

No matter if you're naughty or nice...

This is what is going to be in the Christmas Goodie Baskets this year:
Hair On Your Nuts (spicey mixed nuts)
2 lg egg whites
2.3 c sugar
5 T Old Bay
4 t Worcestershire
2 t chili powder
1 t cayenne
6 c mixed nuts
1/2 stick butter, melted
1/3 c grated Parmesean
Preheat oven to 300. Line 2 large baking sheets with foil and coat with nonstick spray. Beat egg until foamy. Gradually add sugar and beat in seasonings. Add nuts & butter, stir to coat evenly. Add cheese & mix again. Divide & spread evenly on baking sheets in a single layer. Bake about 30 minutes. Imediately remove from pan onto more foil & let cool.
Note: Do not allow nuts to darken too much or they turn bitter.
These are always a hit! I package up in little ziplock bags and stuff in stockings.

Chocolate Covered Peanut Brittle
I would include the recipe, but this one is a new one this year. I won't post anything I haven't tried.

Pancake Mix
1 c flour
1 T sugar
1 t baking powder
1/2 t baking soda

Mix and seal in ziplock bag. This makes about a dozen, depending on how big you like them.
Make sure you attached a card with the following:
To Prepare:
In a bowl combine mix, 1 cup buttermilk and one egg until smooth. Stir in 1 1/2 T melted butter and 1 1/2 T maple syrup. Let rest for about 5 minutes. Pour 1/4 cup onto nonstick griddle, flip only when the bubbles no longer burst. Don't forget to freeze the leftovers- if there are any!

Herb Biscuit Mix
1 cup flour
1/4 t pepper
1 t baking powder
1 t baking soda
1/2 T garlic powder
1/2 T grated parmesean
1/2 T oregano
Mix the above and seal in ziplock bag.
Attach a card with the following:
To prepare:
Preheat oven to 450. Add mix to a bowl and cut in 3 T cold unsalted butter cut into pieces. Add 1/2 cup buttermilk. Drop by large spoonfulls onto ungreased sheet and bake 8-10 minutes until golden brown.

Sidenote- if you never have buttermilk on hand just add 1 1/2 t lemon juice concentrate to a 1/2 cup measuring cup and then fill with regular milk.

There will also be some caramel creme cookies (recipe will follow when I find it) and pumpkin and banana breads.

Ah, a weekend in bed. Just what I didn't want.

We took a weekend off! Don't get all excited for us, it wasn't our choice. We all came down with a nasty little virus. Mike was in bed Saturday, I was in bed Sunday and Gryffin didn't let anything stop him. Luckily, one of us was able to look after him while the other gazed into the porcelane wishing well. It seems as though it was a quick virus at least as Mike went to work and I am up and dressed. And most importantly, having my coffee.
We were not given a very prognosis for Granny last week. The onchologist, a guy who very much reminded me of a cartoon character, said that with treatment possibly 12-18 months, without 6 weeks. Everyone decided to try a round of chemo and radiation and see how Granny tollerates it. The steroids they have to give her have made her hallucinate and a little combative at times. Her lucid moments are growing fewer. My heart breaks for her and Pa and the rest of the family, but I know God will take care of us all through this and after.
Thanks to yuck virus my house is a disaster. I wonder if I could get FEMA in here to clean up? Probably, but it would take 4 years, tons of red tape and a bunch of beauracratic BS. Speaking of... Don't forget to vote tomorrow. If you don't, you have no right to complain. Me? I voted twice so I get to complain more than most. Just kidding.

I would love to sit down and post but I'm affraid it would be nothing but a bunch of b+itching. I will spare you and wollow in my own pitty/laundry fest and take comfort in the fact that everything is temporary and God will see it through. And in the imortal words of Fat Albert, 'I may just learn a thing or two'.

Living in danger...

Yup, I just read that I live not 10 miles from THE most dangerous city in the country. Are you kidding me?! What a load of crap. I looked into what their criteria was: a ratio of crime rate to population. No wonder we made it- no one lives IN the city! Using their formula everyone was getting mugged or carjacked. The populous of St Louis resides in the surrounding counties and sub-cities. I guess the St Louis government officials didn't grease enough pockets. But don't get me started on corruption and government.

A little rant...

I saw the downfall of the family yesterday on TV. It sent shivers down my spine as in 30 seconds I witnessed a family of four deteriorate into disfunction and sorrow. This may only be my interpretation but pancake batter in a bottle that you add water, shake and pour?! Come on. I've timed it, to measure and mix ingredients takes a whopping- stand back- 7 minutes. Seven minutes, people. Seven minutes to give your family pancake batter where every ingredient is easily pronouncable and recognizable. Seven minutes to know that your kids aren't going to have so many preservatives in their body when they die that embalming will not be needed. Seven minutes where you can teach your kids math- measuring IS fractions. Not to mention, seven minutes to teach your kids that food does not come from a bottle or box. I can see it know, future generations that don't know how to cook and rely only on prepackaged, preservative ridden crap. Soilent Green is people! No wonder society is getting so fat, their bodies no longer have to work to break down food. It is presented in a ready to eat, fully digested form that lacks vitamins and nutrients.
For the past couple weeks Mike and I have gone against everything we believe in and have eaten fast food. Only because we did not have a choice as dinner was on the run from hospital to nursing home. We feel like crap, lack energy and stamina and have gained weight. Last night after leaving the hospital we craved vegetables so bad we stopped by the salad bar at the fancy grocery store and paid $6 each for! That is desperation, folks. Usually, if I pay that much for a salad someone brings it to my table and takes it away when I'm done.
This morning Mike reminded me his haircut appointment and that he has to take some medication to Pa at the nursing home. We decided that it would be better to eat -a real meal- at 4 in the afternoon than to keep up the on the go meals. I'm hoping Gryffin will cooperate enough to allow me to fix a batch of cookies for that evening snack that all of us will be dying for after eating dinner that early. Maybe some whole wheat honey peanut butter cookies, mmmmmm. Dinner will consist of Chicken a la King, using fat free 1/2 & 1/2. If I get time it will be served over home made biscuits, if not it will be over egg noodles. **Reminder to Chris- I am holding you to that promise of showing me how to make your family recipe for noodles** Now doesn't that sound better than yet another burger or taco?

Happy Halloween!

I sent Gryffin off to Day Out today in his little Dalmation costume from last year. It still fit, but I cut the feet off so he could wear shoes. Somehow I didn't think those little plastic dots on the bottom of the footies would work on slippery floors. I saved his new Monkey costume for tonight. Don't fret, pictures will be posted.
I have to hurry and get Laundry Mountain downstairs. Good thing I have 'faith of a mustard seed'. Then its menu planning, grocery list making and shopping to do. This much fun should be illegal, really. But its been a good two weeks since I've done any of it and I'm feeling guilty about it.
Too much to do to keep spurting nonsense!
Burn a black candle to keep the evil spirits away tonight and buy lots of candy to keep the evil kids at bay too.

Update:

I have a few minutes to blog, although I should be cleaning my filthy house. Oh well, dirt waits.
Anyway, yesterday we put Granny in the hospital for tests. We already know that she has brain cancer but we do not know the full extent of it. When that was done Mike and his father took Pa to an assited living facility with an Alzheimer's unit. This did not fare well with Pa. Mike is just drained today to the point of illness. He is currently in bed. We still have to take Pa his chair and a TV today and I've already been to see Granny and take her a few things. Today is also their 56th wedding anniversary. Crap way to spend it since they won't even get to see eachother. Mike and I know that this is what is best for them, even Granny agreed and has said that she will join Pa when she is released from the hospital. But just because its best doesn't mean its easy. Infact, its never easy when its the best. Your prayers are appreciated and still needed. Thank you all.

Too much...

Things around here are crazy, C-R-A-Z-Y!
Not going to go into detail, just going to ask for prayers.
Don't know when I will be back to blogging regular, but soon I hope.

Christmas is coming, looming, impending...

Ah yes, Christmas. That magical time of year when people forget the true meaning and dessecrate it with packages bought at malls and wrapped in shiny paper that kills innocent trees. Ahhh, makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, doesn't it? Oh wait, maybe thats nausea.
Anyway, I'm taking an idea I stole from a good blogger buddy... angelfoodcakeisntacandle@blogspot.com
Christmas presents, except toys for the nephews, are coming from my kitchen. Whether you like it or not! There will be some people very upset by me bucking the commercial tradition but obviously, they don't have their heart in the right place. With some of them, I doubt they have hearts at all. Ooh, that was cold, am I feeling bitter and disgruntled this morning? Nope, just sleep deprived and grumpy. Please forgive.
Anyway, here are thoughts about what I should put in the goodie baskets that will be supplied:
Pumpkin and banana bread in jars
Caramel cream cookies
Sugar cookies (and not from a mix either) hand decorated
Oatmeal raisin or mabye sunflower cookies, haven't decided yet
Homemade biscuit mix
Homemade pancake mix
and of course, pictures of my little boy... that just woke up screaming. Gotta Go!

Stinking wrinkled wall paper be gone!

Love that Febreze and wrinkle releaser?
Yeah, me too. I was using about a 1/2 gallon of Febreze every week. That stuff ain't cheap but it made my house smell so nice. And with two big dogs and a diaper pail, that ain't easy! Do you know what Febreze and wrinkle releasers are? Watered down fabric softener. Yup, thats all. I came across a 'recipe' to make your own, but found that it needed some SERIOUS adjusting.
I bought a bottle of fabric softener at Sam's that does 135 loads. Hey, I even splurged and spent $10 on a brand name too. In a cleaned out 2 liter bottle, I poured a cap full, looks like about a 1/3 of a cup, of facric softener in then filled the rest of the way with water. Shook it up and filled a spray bottle. I used my old Febreze bottle for this. Recycle, reuse! Just use it as you normally use Febreze. I can get enough to last about a year for just $10! Heck, the commercial stuff was costing me that every other week.
To use this as a wrinkle releaser, spray the garment while its hanging then tug at the wrinkles and smooth them. It worked pretty good on a pair of corderoy pants I have. If it works on that heavy a material it will work on anything!
Make a more concentrated version of this and you have wallpaper remover! I talked my MIL into trying this before spending an arm and leg for the commercial stuff. She is Brand Namer. Only buys brand names and doesn't care that her weekly grocery bill is the same as our monthly house payment. She tried it and was amazed. If I can win her over, I can win anyone over!
Become a Frugal Jedi and stop fighting for the Dark Side!

I feel better...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tension breaker.

Whiny kind of day...

Its cold and raining. Not my favorite weather combo, but its better than bitter cold without snow. Its the kind of day you want to take a book, a big mug of hot cocoa and sit by a window thankful for not having to do anything or go anywhere. It might be that kind of day, but it won't be for me.
I bundled Gryffin up and ran to the drug store to get Granny some medicine. He loved it, cold doesn't bother him. Then after I got him to lay down for a nap I ran next door to make Pa some lunch and give Granny her meds. When its just me, I can't take Gryffin over there because its toddler heaven and parent hell. Pills, sharp objects, all kinds of fun things for him to stick in some orafice.
A few years ago we moved Granny & Pa (Mike's grandparents) here from Ohio to help care for them. Pa has Alzheimer's and Granny has, well- lets just say, issues. Lots of issues, some are even medical. She hasn't been out of bed since Friday and is convinced she's got the flu. I'm no doctor but its not the flu. Anyway, Wednesday she is going to the doctor for tests whether she likes it or not. I've already told her that if it takes a gurney and port-a-potty so be it.
The elderly and toddlers are a lot alike. Both are stuborn and know what they want and will scheme and sneak to get it. Both require a lot of patience and a lot of help. And both cause me to want to bang my head against a wall on a regular basis. But both are also loveable and dependant.
I certainly don't regret having to deal with both but I do know my limitations with each. If I don't care for myself, I can't care for anyone else. So I guess what I'm trying to convince myself of without feeling guilty is that I'm going to hurry up, do my chores tomorrow and maybe kick back with a book or a movie while Gryffin is in Day Out.

Bread in a jar...

As promised to a friend, here is the recipe:
2/3 cup shortening
4 eggs
2/3 cup water
2 2/3 cups sugar
2 cups pumpkin, canned
2/3 cups chopped nuts, optional
3 1/3 cups flour
1/2 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. ground cloves
1 1/2 tsp. salt

Cream shortening and sugar, beat in eggs, pumpkin and water. Sift together flour, baking powder and soda, spices and salt. Add to pumpkin mixture; stir in nuts. Pour mixture into 8 greased WIDE-MOUTHED (very important) pint jars filling half full. Bake at 325 for 45 minutes. When done remove one jar at a time, wiping sealing rim with a cloth or paper towel. Place ball lid on and screw on tight. The heat will vacuum seal the jar and will keep for up to one year.
Variations: substitute one of the following for pumpkin-
2 cups shredded apples or carrots
1 bag whole fresh cranberries
2 cups mashed bananas
2 cups apricots
2 cups shredded zucchini
2 cups fresh peaches

When I say the wide mouthed jars are important, I mean it. I did this one year with regular ones and the bread wouldn't slide out because of the lip on the jar. I remedied this by spooning out the bread, making a powdered sugar glaze and calling it mock bread pudding. It was still good, just didn't look as pretty.

Enjoy!