Lets see, today I have already dusted, vacuumed and done some laundry, fed, changed and put Gryffin down for his nap. How shall I celebrate? Have all my friends over to trash the joint of course! We were planning on going to the zoo today but its just a little too chilly to do that and my gosh, we can't go three days without hanging out so...
Even though I haven't had a shower and am still in sweats they are all coming over. Yeah, caught in sweats AGAIN. Now either I'm going to have to start getting up with Mike at 5:20 am or I'm going to have to invest in nicer sweats. I'm not one to feel comfortable going beyond my property line in them unless its to run an errand I don't have to leave the car for. I think this whole insecurity came about my freshman year of college when women weren't even allowed to wear sweats outside of their dorm or the gym. They even had separate gym hours for men and women so the guys couldn't lust after our sweaty, sweat clad, stinking bodies. This college was so uptight and conservative. I didn't fit in too well as you may imagine.
I was once told not to wear my Grateful Dead shirts anymore because they were satanic. Huh? What is so satanic about tie dye? Was it the skeleton that they were afraid of? Ooh, bones- scary. Anyway, I relented for fear of having to go back to hell and live with my egg-donor. Don't get me wrong, they still kicked me out. But only because I ran out of money. Just because they religious doesn't mean they are understanding or charitable. Go figure.

note to self:

Stomach full of coffee and nothing else
+
Slippery socks
+
Ring Around the Rosey
=
Nausea and a sore butt

TGIF!
Thanksgiving is next week, just a reminder for any of you who have had your head in the sand. This year its at my MIL's so my preparations are minimal. Of course, I won't know what she needs me to bring until Wednesday night. Thats how she rolls, late. I love her though. Any woman willing to host a bazillion people for Thanksgiving and working 12-16 hour shift the day before and after is amazing.
Tomorrow we are having Mike's old boss and his family over, along with his Dad if he can make it for the Ohio State/Michigan game. Oh yeah, and Chris too! Then after we kick them out we are heading to Robin's house to further stretch our tummies at a Thanksgiving warm-up dinner. Basically, its a Thanksgiving for the family we chose. There will be no turkey on the menu as none of us want to OD on tryptophan this week. I am taking White Castle stuffing because there is nothing better than a bunch of tipsy farters eating themselves into misery. Good thing none of us smoke, open flame would be bad.

When you're two you can get away with it, not when you're 35.

Today's To Do List:
Take Gryffin to Day Out
Develop a menu and grocery list for the week and for the football get-together on Saturday
Grocery shop
Call the old egg-donor and wish her a crappy- I mean happy- birthday
Clean and laundry

I think that's plenty. Oh, one more thing! I have to call my mother-in-law to find out what to make for her Thanksgiving dinner.

Yesterday Gryffin was so proud of the fact that he peed like Daddy, standing up, that when we went to the Post Office he demanded to stop and see Grandma at work to show her the new tattoo he got for it. Wouldn't have been a big deal except for the fact that I just planned on using the Post Office drive through so he was still in jammies and his Spiderman slippers. But he was so proud of himself that I just couldn't deny him bragging rights. So I trailer parked up and took my kid out in public in slippers and jammies. I called Dianne to make sure it was Ok with her and she said it was fine. Of course, she didn't tell me that she was in the middle of a meeting at the time. They ushered Gryffin and I back to the break room where I was only expecting Dianne but was greeted by a gaggle of nurses. With my kid in slippers and jammies. And me in clothes not much better than jammies. Grrr. Oh well, my kid got his grandma fix, was able to brag to whole room full of grandmas about peeing standing up, showed off his new tattoo and charmed them with his well, charm. But from now on he's getting dressed before we get in the car no matter what. Me too for that matter.

Any way you want it, thats the way you need it.

Tonight's conversation in the car on the way home from The Evil Empire's Bulky Twin, aka Sam's:
Mike: Gryffin is Mommy being silly?
Gryffin: Yeah
Me (car dancing to Journey's 'Any Way You Want It'): Gryffin do like it when Mommy's silly?
Gryffin: Yeah
Mike: Honey, I think your meds are working.
Me (still car dancing and now singing along with Journey's 'Any Way You Want It': You think so?

Personally, I think its just because before going in to Sam's we heard Van Halen's 'Hot for Teacher'. Yeah, my music taste is a little off but so am I.

Oh and did I mention I'm typing this from my couch, with my feet up on my new laptop. My husband is so awesome. I think I will keep him around.

Last night was fun. I think my brother and his family had a good time. Note to self: next time chop the veggies in the meatloaf so small they can't be seen. I wasn't offended, I just found it funny that the boys ate around them.
I don't know whats on the agenda for today. There are some event downtown and Mike is thinking about going to his old high schools football game. Who knows?

Two year old pie

Or rather, a two year old making pie.

Gryffin helped pour the apples in, mix the topping and put it on and put on the chunks of butter. He did everything but cut and peel the apples!

I'm going to make him my sous chef.

All he needs is a little apron and hat.

And to realize that licking the bowl is inappropriate until the pie is in the oven. We were a little short on apples because of this. But I'm sure it will taste just fine.

Tonight my brother, sister-in-law and their three children are coming over for dinner and a movie. Luckily I was able to get the vacuuming and some laundry done yesterday so the house is in good shape. Still have laundry to do, fold and put away. I have to prep the meatloaf and make some mashed potatoes, maybe an apple pie. Oh yeah and take a shower!
Last night we saw an incredible transformation in Gryffin. One minute he was cranky and lethargic, the next he was climbing like a monkey and laughing uncontrollably. The secret to this transformation? A poo the size of a baseball! He has been guzzling milk faster than a cow could make it and the cow got revenge. I guess its partly my fault because I've been giving it to him.
Speaking of Gryffin, he just came running in with his arms outstretched calling 'Mommy, Mommy!' and gave me a big hug. Now that's how everyday should start. And usually does. I am so lucky and blessed.

Guilt ridden laundry

Java no longer resides with us. Yesterday he was placed for adoption at the local humane society. Our hearts are broken over this but there was no choice. Java was becoming aggressive, trying to become alpha male now that Mojo is chronologically challenged. He was playing too rough with Mojo and had even taken a couple nips at Gryffin. He never bit Gryffin but that was only a matter of time since Java saw him as next in line for the throne.
Our friends Beqi and the Eddies were here when Java left. I'm glad they were. I've never been one for friends. Friendship was always a lot of work for me, either trying to change myself to what they wanted or trying to change them to what I wanted. For well over a decade I had given up entirely. Now my friends will come to my rescue and make me laugh when I need it most. Heck, Beqi didn't even run screaming when I was losing it yesterday. You know its friendship when someone will give you a hug even though you have a snotty nose and projectile tears.
Gryffin has been pretty emotional too. He slept late this morning which I really appreciated but when he did wake it was with a short lived smile. Not like him at all. He asked where Java was and I reminded him that Java ran away. We are not telling him the truth as 2 year olds process information very differently than adults and I don't want him thinking that if he bites or misbehaves he will incur the same fate. Lying isn't right, but sometimes necessary. When I took him to Day Out this morning it was a ball fest. Not in the round and bouncy sort of way but in the tear laden, red faced way. I explained to his teacher what happened and she said that it was Ok and that they would make sure Gryffin was comforted throughout the day. God bless them.
I have a bazillion loads of laundry to do today. Its $10 off day at the grocery but I couldn't come up with the required amount of minimum purchase that we needed. I may still go tonight, but most likely tomorrow when there won't be anyone there. Right now, I'm going to finish off the coffee, take some headache medicine and put some laundry in.

Playful Monday

Today I hosted playdate. You see, I was stuck here waiting for a plumber that I nicknamed (before meeting him) Harry Buttcrack. Harry said that he would be here somewhere between 11 am and 1pm. In plumber time thats from 11 to February. He showed up about 11:30 and did not fit the Harry Buttcrack moniker. In fact, some of the moms got a little smitten. He was not the sloppy, stained tank top kind of plumber. He was clean and professional and kept calling me ma'am, which kind of pissed me off cause I ain't that old but I knew it was out of politeness. An hour and $200 later my kitchen sink drains! Mike spent most of football Sunday working on it to no avail. Poor guy.
The kids had a blast, so did the mom's. I don't know what we would do without playdate Mondays. I don't dare imagine. But even after the kids are in school, the mom's are still going to have playdate.

I'm baaaa-aack!

Gee, I wish I could say that I've been on vacation to a beautiful, deserted island but...
On Halloween our computer decided to put on a costume. It was a disguised as a large black, broken box. Amazing how isolated not having it made me feel. But all of that is over now.
Its fixed, mostly.
Halloween was awesome. The kids had a great time and the adults did too, basically because we acted just like the kids.

I slept. Boy, did I sleep. There are few nights where I sleep through the whole night and last night was one of them. I don't know which exhaustion did it, physical or mental. Maybe both. Mike even had to tell me about Gryffin's 2 am demand for more milk. The kid is famous for coming to our bedroom in the wee hours, throwing his sippee into our bed and saying, "More milk" before trotting off to tuck himself back into bed. We hand him his demand, he rolls over and that's that. Man, did we luck out or what?!
Today is Day Out and Halloween costume preparation day. I have to fix Gryffin's and get mine together. I have a few options, all require shopping. I hate shopping. I'm hoping to get it over quickly and painlessly so I can maybe get some laundry done.
After Trick-or-Treating I'm heading out with the girlfriends to see Beqi's band at a club. We are all going in costume because: A. we refuse to grow up, B. we like being freaks anyway and this way no one gives us weird looks and C. we all need some fun. That and I think if we showed up sans costumes Beqi would threaten us with bodily harm. You don't mess with Beqi.
But right now, I've got to throw a lunch together for Gryffin and oh yeah, get dressed! Somehow I don't think the folks at Day Out would appreciate my jammies as much as I do. Especially since I refuse to match my PJ's and usually my ensembles would make a blind man cringe.

A Fine Mess...

Gryffin and Clara Jane

Gryffin painting

My Jello heart. Funny, no one wanted to eat any.

It was a small turn out but that was just fine. Gryffin and Clara had tons of fun decorating pumpkin after pumpkin. Even the adults got in on it.

Soup, sandwiches and some yummy sausage, cheese and wine Robin & Brian brought rounded out the evening.

Plans change...

So the Downtown Trick-or-Treating was cancelled due to none of us being dumb enough to drag our kids out in costume in the cold, wet, nasty weather. Selfish, I know. But we all still wanted to get together and have some fun. I came up with the idea of decorating pumpkins together. Everyone is coming over tonight to paint, glue, cut, color, feather and sparkle some poor, Innocent pumpkins. I'm making some soup, setting out some sandwich fixings and calling it a party. Another party?! I don't know if its having a bigger house or having friends or both, but either way I'm going to turn pro. Look out Martha! Instead of all sweater set wearing and pretentious I'll be sweatshirt wearing and realistic.
I've got a big plastic tub filled with googly eyes, pipe cleaner, glitter glue, sheets of construction paper and foam and I'm not afraid to use them! Lay tarps over the floor and bring on the unsuspecting squash 'cause its gonna get messy. I'm thinking the kids might even enjoy it too. If they don't, I have plenty of candy to make them smile.

Haven't had much to say lately, still don't but what the hell here goes...
Yesterday my MIL came over to watch Gryffin while I went to the doctor for depression. After a long discussion- he actually spent 15 minutes just talking with me about my symptoms, we decided that I shouldn't go back to what I used last time. I need not only an antidepressant but an anti anxiety as well. So I'm trying a med I've never been on and hope that it will work out.
Since I had the luxury of a babysitter I also picked up our new elliptical trainer. Luckily the muscle-head at the shop was willing to load it up for me. Put those steroid biceps to use, Mungo! Now we have a really heavy, expensive box sitting in our garage. We still need to assemble it and that may have to wait awhile as Mike has a sinus infection and can barely make it to the couch when he gets home. Mike doesn't get sick often, but when he does- he does it up right. Poor guy. All I can do is just try and keep Gryffin from jumping on him.
I HAVE HAVE HAVE to get Gryffin's pirate costume fixed. He ripped it taking it off. My friends and their chill'en are meeting downtown tomorrow for Downtown Trick-or-Treating. Basically, all the cutesy shops are doling out sugar loot to the bespectacled beggars. Then of course, there is Halloween! Wednesday Gryffin will get more cavity makers from the neighbors and afterward I will join the Monday Mommy Posse to see Beqi's show in St Louis. Uhm yeah, I will be costumed for that. Don't ask what costume or what I will be but Beqi made the request that we all get 'slutted up'. I'm not real good at that. I don't like a lot of makeup, I don't have any cleavage and exude sex appeal like an Amish grandmother. There is something to be said for understated sexy though. Lets face it, the imagination is usually better than reality.
For not having a lot to say, I sure have rambled on. So much so that my coffee is cold and that, my friends, is a crime against all I know to be holy.

I would give just about anything to have a small fraction of the energy Gryffin does. He awoke at 8 this morning, still wearing his Spiderman gloves and clutching his Spiderman doll from last night. He came running over to me, reaching out and jumped in my arms. Now there is a great way to start the day. Especially since his jammies were dry.
There is a lot on the plate for today: laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping. Not that I will get all or even half done today. Mike said that maybe I should stop trying to micromanage my days and just take one thing at a time. What? Dude, do you even know me? Yeah, he does and I think he's right. I spend so much time planning that I never really accomplish anything. One thing at a time today, baby steps.

So here is the humble beginnings of what will be a humble scarf. I'm hoping to finish it before the cold weather is done.

Knit one, drink two

Yeah! Mike was home a little before 6 last night, with card and roses in hand. Either I've really been really depressed or he's hiding a secret. Since I know which one of those options is true... my Dr's appointment is next Thursday. I'm going back on the meds. My fighting the mood isn't getting me anywhere. I can put on a game face and seem normal for a bit only to spend the night in tears. Not how I want to live.
Anyway, Mike crashed the dinner my friend Robin had invited Gryffin and I over for. Super yummy potato soup, salad and sandwich fixings. Anyone who puts bowls of cheese and crumbled bacon on the table will always rank high with me. After a little while, Beqi and the Eddies showed up. We cracked open the wine in celebration.
Before leaving I begged some knitting supplies off Robin. She knits really awesome things that just make so envious I could spit. She gave me Stitch N Bitch, the book she taught herself from, along with a set of needles and yarn.
After putting Gryffin down for the night I curled up on the couch and started to read. Ok, here it comes. Time to break out the needles and yarn. This looks easy. Hey, look at me, I'm knitting. Following directions, steady, steady. There! Wait a minute, this looks nothing like the cute, tidy little knots in the illustrations. I only succeeded in knitting a long succession of ugly knots. I pulled it all out and started again. Same result. One more time! One more knugly thing.
This morning I restarted with fresh eyes. Apparently my eyes weren't the problem. Yet another knugly, yes- I'm putting a patent on that word. Maybe I will just create a new way to knit or maybe I will stab myself through the brain with the needles or maybe I will just try to find a Knitting for Morons class. Or maybe I should just be thankful to have extraordinarily talented friends and pay them to make me things.

Mike has a meeting tonight that is scheduled for 24 hours. We are both hoping it doesn't last that long. With the big merger/buyout/sellout/fiasco his company is going through we hope/pray/beg that he has a job in the end.
The weather is grey and misty today. Funny, that's exactly how I feel. Yesterday was playdate and it was a good one. I had really struggled with whether I would go because of my attitude but Gryffin was begging to go to Clara Jane's. He had a great time and I did too. I always do. Sitting around eating until my eyes explode and laughing with friends does wonders. Robin was kind enough to invite us over for dinner tonight. I'm glad of it since Mike most likely won't be here which means Gryffin will need a distraction. That and I get out of having to cook.
Its picture day at Day Out and me being slacker mom, I'm waiting for Gryffin's clothes to dry. I should've washed them last night but I was exhausted, we all were. After dinner we all sat down for a little Batman/Superman cartoon watching and promptly all fell asleep. Luckily, after his power nap, Gryffin was still willing to go to bed close to his regular time.
Other than a little cleaning, laundry and a run for dog food I think I will just relax.

Today's Special: Ebola quiche!

Its Monday. Ugh, Monday.
I think I may have gotten 4 hours sleep last night, even after taking a sleeping pill.
Gryffin has his usual change of weather, night shattering cough that kept him up. So at least our miserableness didn't get lonely and we can be cranky together today. What joy we shall bring to playdate!
At about 3 this morning I thought that we just wouldn't go to Robin & Clara's house today, even though yesterday Gryffin declared his undying love for Clara Jane and demanded to go see her right then. A two year old Romeo stalker, just what Clara wanted for Christmas! Anyway, I didn't want any of the other moms to think that I was infecting their home and child with Ebola but then I realized that:
1. Gryffin doesn't have a fever
2. Other than a couple, he only coughs at night
3. He's up and playing like a tornado
4. He's had the night cough for over a week so if it were contagious they would already have blood coming out their eye sockets and be begging to eat a bullet.
He would long be over this but The Man decided to take away children's cold and allergy medicine because some toothless inbred couldn't read the freaking instructions and OD'd their kid on Benedryl. Stupid inbreds. I still have a small stash, but I'm hording it like my muther hordes old butter tubs. 'Cause its good Tupperware'. It might work a little better IF YOU WASHED IT OUT FIRST! Anyway, I digress.
Hording probably isn't the right term since just the mention of medicine makes him run screaming like a teenage girl faced with a snake. Or a grown woman, for that matter. It took Mike to hold flailing arms and legs while I shoved a little strip into his mouth last night. Since I'm on my own today I will probably lose a finger or two, but at least I won't have to make breakfast that way.

Good Neighbor Alert!
Yesterday Drunk Naked Guy trespassed into our back yard and shouted through our back door to let us know that Java got out twice and that he was kind enough to bring him back. Apparently, he wasn't sober enough to knock. At the same time Sara from next door came running over to the front door, and rang the bell like sane people, to let us know she just spotted Drunk Naked Guy in our back yard. She was checking on us to make sure we weren't all bloody and dead. Now, that's good neighboring, folks!

OK, up off the keester and in to the kitchen. I have to come up with something to make for playdate. I'm thinking a ham, broccoli and cheese quiche. I will let the Jedi mind power of the fridge lead me.

This weekend has been nice, but rough. Mike cleaned out the garage so I can now park the Jeep in it. He has also cleaned the kitchen, twice. We have a long standing arrangement that when I cook, he cleans up the kitchen. I try to keep the amount of dishes and mess at a minimum but sometimes slack on that. He does a great job.
We also went to the mall for some organizers for Mike's tool chest, a book for me and a cookie and train ride for Gryffin. They have this little kid size train that just goes around in a circle and an old fashion carousel. I always try and steer him to the carousel because on the train he has a meltdown as soon as it starts to move. When this happens the operator has to stop the train and either Mike or I climb aboard with him. It was my turn, so we went round and round for a bit and Gryffin really enjoyed it.
While Gryffin is now napping, I have some granola bars in the oven. Apple, apricot, pear, peach and prune with almonds, sunflower seeds and chocolate chips- yum! I call these the everything bars. Gryffin calls them power bars. Fitting I suppose.
Through all of this I have been fighting again. I really, really, really don't want to go back on antidepressants but if I'm having this much trouble this early in the season, it can't be a good sign. I know when I lose interest in cooking and keeping the house clean that its only the beginning. If I can rebound in a week or two then I don't consider medication. Its been a month. Maybe I should bite the bullet and go to the doctor. Get it over with and on with my life because there are way too many great things that I feel like I just can't enjoy.

Spiderman Saturday

Its chilly, overcast and perfect weather to curl up on the couch with a blanket and remote. Too bad that's a pipe dream when you have a two year old. However the reality isn't bad either, playing with said two year old and reading him books is pretty cool too.
Last night we went to the NEW Target. The closest one, until this week, has been a 20-30 minute drive down the highway into a really traffic congested town that only survives because its jam-packed with shops, malls and restaurants. No one actually lives there. Anyway, a Target finally opened up in our town and only about a 5 minute drive away. Yeah! Plus it has a bigger selection of just about everything.
We were perusing the $1 section, Mike spotted pairs of Superman and Batman socks for Gryffin while I spied some Spiderman gloves. Gryffin is obsessed with Superheros right now. He comes by it honest, Mike still wishes his real name was Bruce Wayne. Gryffin is also obsessed with gloves. Be it rubber cleaning gloves, Mike's old winter or work gloves or just a pair of socks shoved on his hands. When we got home I opened the Spiderman gloves and Gryffin just about danced he was so excited. So excited in fact, he insisted on sleeping in them.
This morning he is still wearing them and had to be reminded to take them off before submerging his hand in cereal and banana. That and he wanted to wear his Spiderman T-shirt today too. The kid is all boy. Which is exactly what I wanted.

Fashion isn't about the zoo animals...

This is The dress! Designer extrordinaire, Beqi is being camera shy.

Don't look at me like I'm crazy when you make me laugh like a school girl. As you can see the print on the dress is infact, pinups on motorcycles.

This is the Monday Mommy Posse.

Beqi, Jill, Robin and me.

Yesterday I went back to high school. Not really, just felt like it. It was Gryffin's first field trip with Day Out. When we arrived he had serious melt down at the prospect of me leaving. When I explained that I was going to stay with him he went all Chernobyl. For a half hour the kid screamed and cried. Other moms looked at me like I had demon spawn. I would rather have a kid with a tantrum than their roots. For crimeny, if you are going to dye your hair- keep it up. Anyway, when Gryffin realized that this meant he would get to ride on a school bus he promptly calmed down. All the kids, teachers and moms hopped on the bus and began singing Kumbaya. Not really, but it did have that 'I don't belong' feel. On the ride the other moms were talking of things I didn't understand, conservative politics, the latest Coach handbags and something about a cookbook by Jerry Seinfeld's wife where she puts spinach in brownies.

We all unloaded at the pumpkin patch and climbed on a tractor. Gryffin was really excited (and nervous). He just wanted to keep on riding but we had to pick out a pumpkin. I promised that we would ride back on the tractor but they wouldn't let us on without a pumpkin. This prompted a sprint of Olympic speed. Gryffin ran to the very back of the field, after picking himself up off the ground a few times. I think he totally lost track of finding a pumpkin because at the end of this field was a HUGE hill perfect for rolling down. I didn't think I could move that fast but I caught him before he hurled his little body down it. He was not happy. I tried to redirect and get back into the pumpkin thing but it was lost. Dragging him back through the field we spotted a pumpkin. He carried it for three seconds before throwing it to the ground insisting that I carry it and him. So, I pack muled up and carried them back to the tractor.

After that we settled in for a pig race that totally freaked him out. He didn't want to see those pigs run in a circle, he wanted to pet them. It was past lunch and nap time, so I knew that his frustration was due to hunger and exhaustion.

On the ride home it was pretty quiet, except for one of the teacher's kids screaming his head off for more popcorn. We were lucky enough to sit right in front of him. By the time we got back to Day Out the kid and his mom were both in tears. Don't get me wrong, I cry out of empathy, sympathy and frustration when Gryffin has a bad tantrum- but NEVER in public or in front of him. It only fuels the fire.

Gryffin said that he didn't want to stay at Day Out so I brought him home, fed, changed and put him down for a nap.

When Mike got home Gryffin showed him the pumpkin and I filled him in on the days events. Talking with him made me realize that even though I don't fit in most places and am easily intimidated, I don't act like a 15 year old spoiled brat with zoo animals on my boob and some strangers name on my purse or butt. They had problems with their kids dressing themselves and not matching, I let my kid wear a bucket as a hat and socks on his hands when we go out for dinner. They complain about getting dirty, I'm just thankful I don't dry clean. They complain about not being able to get their kids to eat veggies and my kid loves them.

I am truly blessed. A happy life is the best revenge so all those moms and the girls in high school that made my life hell can all bite me. Naa-naa-na-naa-naa and a big wet raspberry to them. Ok, so I haven't totally grown up.

A pumpkin for my Pumpkin

First ride on a school bus.

He kept referring to the guy on the tractor as PaPa. Hmm, I do see a resemblance.

First tractor ride. He was a little nervous.

Off in search of that perfect pumpkin.

I've already found mine.

Beautiful day for a headache

We opened up the house yesterday. The temperatures have dropped below Satan's comfort level and is now where we like it, chilly. I was planning on taking Gryffin to the zoo today but I awoke about 5 am with an axe between the eyes headache. Maybe more coffee will help. Heck, that is a remedy I'm always willing to try!
It came to our attention a few days ago that an old friend/coworker was looking for a place to live. She came and looked at our old house and thought it perfect. She really liked that the bathroom was big enough for her hair, and thats saying something folks and that the back yard was big enough for her five dogs. Yup, five. Ok, so I wouldn't be real thrilled with living next to that many dogs, but I've met them several times and aside from a hello bark they are pretty mellow. We told her what price we were asking and she wasn't put off so things were looking good until the city government decided to stomp on our toes. In the city of B'ville you cannot own more than three dogs without applying for a special zoning permit. I don't know what her thoughts were on this after Mike told her but I really don't expect her to buy our house now. It was like being adrift on a raft, seeing land in the distance and then realizing it was only a mirage. But we are still going to keep paddling. Through this whole experience we have learned that renting it out is not an option as our insurance would skyrocket and that we now know exactly what we would ask for it, which is a good 10 grand less than any other house in the neighborhood that is for sale right now. Silver lining, don't blind me.
Anyway, off to down more pain killers and coffee. It is the breakfast of champions, isn't it?

Argh Matey!

These boots are made for walkin'. Planks, that is. Someone decided he wanted to be a pirate for Halloween so being oh so handy with a sewing machine and with lots of time on my hands I ran to the nearest store and bought him a costume, complete with eye patch and telescope. Of course, now he refuses to take it off to change into jammies. I may have created a monster. A pirate monster.

I also picked myself up a Betty Page wig. Don't know what I'm going to do with it but hell, Betty Page!

The party is over.

Bosom Buddies: Beqi & Robin

Mike & Brian playing Guitar Hero, aka- Geek Guitar

I think everyone, including Mike and I, had a good time. At least, I didn't hear any complaints. I think my threat of a boot inspired butt kicking worked. I would love to post some pictures of the infamous dress but Robin hasn't forwarded them to me yet. I did wear the awesome shoes for most of the night. The last couple hours I kicked them off, walked around hillbilly style and let everyone know how lazy I am since I only painted the two nails that showed through the shoes.
I think our gayhbors finally realized that Mike and I are not the quiet, conservatives they once thought. In fact, the found out the exact opposite and now we have scored invites to their Christmas party. I'm hoping boa draped drag queens will be in attendance.

I think the next party will be Mardi Gras. A little jambalaya, red beans and rice and gumbo sounds really good.

How not to celebrate...

I bought me some sweet, sexy shoes to go with that awesome dress for the party. And how do I celebrate this major lifetime achievement? I break my little toe not 15 minutes later. That kind of talent will not win me the bouquet of roses and diamond tiara, folks. Does this mean I won't be wearing said sweet and sexy shoes? Hell no! So, if you are at my party and see me hopping around on one foot just know that:
A. I'm in pain
B. I'm a little clumsy
C. I sooo love these shoes
And if you feel that you must comment on my ridiculousness just be aware that I also bought a pair of black, patent leather, pointed toe, stiletto healed, dominatrix style, knee high, man-part puncturing boots and if need be I will whip them on and kick your wise crackin' butt with my good foot. And that talent should at least win me some daisies and a little paper party hat.

Park It!

Today we went to the Missouri Botanical Garden and had a blast. I must say, this morning I was not looking forward to this. Dreading it in fact. All I could picture was Gryffin running off yanking the heads off of pretty flowers, raising his head and giving his evil laugh. Only one plant ended up feeling pain and I made Gryffin apologize to it. Yeah, I'm one of those moms.

The following pictures were taken by new BFF, Mia. BFF, jeez I'm losing it. The exhaustion has officially set in. Anyway, thanks be to Mia for the great pictures because I'm a ding-bat and forgot the camera, again.

Lincoln Logs are even better when you can climb on them!

Ahoy, Matey! I be Pirate Poop Pants.

Whee!

Gryffin is convinced that under every bridge lives an angry troll. Here he was trying to catch one.

Now, I won't include any of the pics where Gryffin and his friends Clara Jane, Little Eddie and at times Big Eddie ran amok in the water park. I realized too late that I had neglected to bring a spare change of clothes. So I went all hillbilly and stripped him down to his diaper and laid out the drippy duds to dry in the sun. I know, most of you would just love to see these but I am saving them for his first date, prom and his wedding reception. Evil, evil Mommy.

Today we are heading to the Missouri Botanical Garden to meet friends and walk. And walk, and walk, and walk. I haven't been to the gardens for a long time, I think the last time we went while Gryffin was an infant and easily contained for a concert. Now, nothing contains him. I'm definitely wearing tennis shoes.
Ooh, ooh- good news alert! We sold the big red truck! Only slightly less than we wanted but enough to pay off my hearing aides before the interest hits. And one more BIG thing off our shoulders. After the party Saturday we can concentrate on getting next door cleaned up so we can decide what to do with it. We want to sell but if we find someone we know (well) who might need a place to rent we would do that, otherwise its the option of do we sell it ourselves or get an agent. Of course, none of this can even be seriously thought of until its scrubbed down and the painting finished. Along with getting the basement emptied.

Motorcycles and Mary Janes

So the only real thing I accomplished from yesterday's list was finishing The Watchman. I also started Batman: Year One. For any of you that know my husband, Batman is his hero. He wants a Batman tattoo, he must drink his weekend coffee out of his Batman cup and I swear, if they made Batman underwear in his size he would wear those too. He is a geek and I absolutely love him for it! It enables him to always remain in touch with his inner child and enjoy things on a completely different level than most.
Another reason I love my husband... he bought me the coolest dress from my pal Beqi, http://www.beqiclothing.com/index.html. Its a red spaghetti strap dress with an empire waist and the coolest pattern of pinup girls on motorcycles all over it. I plan on wearing it at our party Saturday with a little 50's style cardigan and some Mary Janes, if I can find a pair. Weird, used to be the only shoes I owned were Mary Janes. And no, I wasn't 6. More like 26.
Yesterday was spent with the usual Monday Sanity Session at Robin's. We all needed it. Amazing how one day a week can greatly improve the disposition of kids and mom's alike.
Today no goofing off for me. First, get Gryffin and myself ready to face the world, take him to Day Out and me to get the Jeep attended to. Then home to do some laundry and clean. A few days without vacuuming and the dust bunnies are multiplying like, well- bunnies. Then there is also the job of scouring the Internet and cookbooks for some good party grub. My life is rough, people.

Making Ta-Da's from To Do's...

So many of our friends won't be able to make it to the party Saturday, but that is ok. The handful that will be here are dear to us and that is the important thing. It also takes a little pressure off.
We have finally put some pictures up on the walls here. A little Pearl Jam here, some Hendrix there and a few guitars on the wall. Hmm, think we like music?
Mike took the ramps and made a lovely step at the front door. Yeah!
He also listed the truck for sale in Auto Trader.
What did I do you ask. Uhm, what did I do? I think I did a little laundry but other than that I'm not real sure. Guess I better start pulling my weight around here this week.
Lets see, personal To Do's:
1. Finish all laundry
2. Finalize the party menu, make shopping list and do the shopping
3. Dust and vacuum, AKA- dust bunny wrangle and sneeze fest
4. Clean, clean, clean and oh yeah, clean
5. Get the oil changed in the Jeep before the engine falls out and have them clean it inside and out because it smells like old french fries
6. Finish The Watchmen, a graphic novel Mike gave me to read. I thought a graphic novel was a comic book but its not really. I've really enjoyed it and plan on reading more of them.
7. Go to the Botanical Gardens with friends on Wednesday and try not to think of all the stuff that I should be doing and enjoy myself.
That should just about do it. Now, its up to you to hold me accountable. I guess if I fail my punishment should be something really heinous like having to eat my muther's Snickerdoodle cookies or going through the line at the grocery with the checker that never shuts up and takes forever. This chick actually picks up things and asks what I'm going to make with it. She gives me the creeps.

Party till the dust bunnies come home.

Don't worry, I haven't fallen off the edge of the earth. I have been sick. I won't go into details except to say that is not how I like to lose weight. I'm back now and have a long day ahead. Being sick is not conducive to keeping the laundry monster at bay, the fridge full or the dust bunnies wrangled. I'm also hoping to get Gryffin outside to enjoy the wonderful weather we have.
I need to get it all done today as this weekend there are other things around here that must get done. I am putting my foot down. Mike built these lovely ramps for Granny to make it easier to get in and out of the house. Obviously they are no longer needed but yet they remain. They make it look like old people live here and as we are mentally old, physically I think we can handle a couple of steps instead. Silly I know, but somehow they remind me that this isn't really our home.
We are on a big kick to spruce as for the first time, uhm-ever, we are entertaining just for the sake of entertaining. My only experience with hosting parties has been Gryffin's birthday where I just fussed with food and camera and spent most of the time trying to find places to hide because I don't deal well with lots of people in a small space. Small space no more! Our family room alone can sit 9 or 10.
Now I would love to be able to paint the family, dining and living rooms but my delusions of grandeur have to do with winning the lottery not killing myself. I would also love to get some bar stools, stock a bar and have a spread of grub that would make Martha blush but again- not into self destruction. I took the cheap/lazy way out and put a big BYOB on the invites and am planning a chicken chili, jambalaya and easy finger food buffet. Good thing we don't know any fancy people 'cuz we'd make 'em feel as uncomfortable as a fart in a crowded elevator.
Dianne has agreed to take Gryffin for the night so there won't be much entertainment, other than the diverse group of people we know. Sometimes diversity is good, other times it only results in a Jerry Springer Show like eruption. Although, the one really questionable gent we know is unable to make it so I'm pretty sure Jerry will get the night off.

A family that inks together stinks together!

We all got Batman tattoos Saturday. Don't worry they're temporary, although I have a feeling Mike would love to make his permanent. Aside from the deer caught in the headlights look on my face this picture is a pretty good summary of our weekend.
After getting inked up we headed out to an art show where my friend Beqi, http://www.beqiclothing.com/index.html was and exhibitor. I picked through her wares like a ravenous wolf. I bought a really pretty top, necklace and a hairpin. The hairpin is a pirate hat with a Jolly Roger on it, you are so jealous. We also picked up a couple of other items which I can't say because one is a gift for one of my loyal readers. Strange Folk Art Show had a much different feel than most, scratch that, all of the other shows in this area. It lacked the super high price tags, the snooty old women in their butch haircuts and 'art show' jewelry. It blared, sometimes too loudly, good music and offered everything from pottery and T-shirts to fresh from the alpaca yarn. It was a good mix of hippies and technicolored freaks. The organizers were brilliant enough to host in a park with a playground. With the reward for good behavior of playing on the playground, Gryffin behaved awesomely. For three hours he terrorized that playground equipment, which was fine with Mike and I because: A. he was playing nicely with the other children, B. he was burning off his endless supply of energy and C. we got to eat some really great gyros while watching him and snapping and endless array of pictures.
Yesterday was more laid back. We took Gryffin for doughnuts where he thoroughly charmed the waitress and a few patrons and made several people laugh when he kept putting 'pretend' turtles in Mike's coffee. After that we ran some errands and came home for nap time.
My mood has been better and I am thankful of that, but I still feel that little depression monster trying to push his way out. Hopefully I will keep him at bay and beat him like a dirty rug.

I'm up, showered, dressed and even did my hair and what little makeup I wear. That is more than I have done the past few days. Baby steps.
Mike told me last night to just 'do' something. Doing something is the best thing at this stage but its also the hardest. All I want to do is sit, not watch TV or read a book, not blog therapy, just make like a zucchini and veg. Amazing how well I can shut my brain off during the day and at night it works overtime with the worries, anxiety and guilt.
I read this this morning: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070919/hl_nm/exercise_depression_dc;_ylt=Ao6lOTscNU3048b2b_5RIkSCSbYF
My personal opinion and experience has been that exercise definitely staves off depression. But until health insurance companies cover equipment or gym memberships, its just not possible right now. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure- unless your an insurance company. But I won't get all politi-preachy.
I want to get out with Gryffin today and do something, even just a walk but its set to be so stinking hot. We will see.

I feel a spiral coming on.

As most of my readers know, I suffer from depression, anxiety and general issues. Everyone has issues but no one's issues are as severe as their own. Except maybe their significant others who have it the worst because they have a loved one's issues to deal with on top of their own issues and this just a recipe for rough times. Sorry Mike.
For several weeks I have been a little down. On the surface I think I've been able to hide it pretty well but now its to the point where Mike is asking me if I'm ok because I look like I'm about to burst into tears and Gryffin is telling me not to be grumpy. From a 2 1/2 year old, thats deep.
I don't really know what has set me off this time. At least, I can't pinpoint one thing. I think its more of an accumulation of little things.
The house next door sitting there filthy, empty and dying.
My lack of a glass studio over here.
Money problems. Ok, so not problems since we have money for food and gas and the bills are paid. But money problems such as credit card debt. I'm not used to it and I don't like it. The last time I actually looked at our credit card bill I almost had an anxiety attack.
The payment for my hearing aides is due in November and I don't know where the several thousand dollars will come from.
I just feel like I'm out of control. I'm a control freak out of control and that has put me into a spin. A spin that makes me not want to do anything which is the worst thing I could do. Now don't get all worried, I'm not going over the edge. I'm just in a funk and this blog is a hell of a lot cheaper than a therapist, which I've tried before and all he wanted to do was write me a scrip and bill my insurance for $135 an hour. So you're just going to have to sit there and say 'uh ha' and 'I see' along with a couple 'How does that make you feel' and 'Tell me about your childhood'.

Zapata's is zsa' poo poo

Tonight we went back to Zapata's Mexican Restaurant. We figured we hadn't been there for a couple years and it deserved another chance. The last time it wasn't the food that was horrid, it was the service. This time the service was much better and the food horrid. When the only difference between a burrito and an enchilada is a corn tortilla you know the cook ain't Mexican. The meat was really bland, the sauce was the same on both and definitely from a can. They didn't even have the decency to add more seasoning. Their chili dip was just that, chili- again from a can. Tasted a lot like the canned chili I buy Mike to take to work. That isn't a good thing. Gryffin only ate his fries and the tortilla from his taco. After tasting the meat, I understood why. It didn't have the texture of ground beef, more like grits cooked in beef broth. And bland, bland, bland. Everything was bland. It was Mexican food for the elderly. I will say one thing though, the chips and salsa were pretty good.

Say it or walk the plank!

Today, as my husband had to call from work and tell me, is National Talk Like A Pirate Day.
Argh!

Camping was great. I got there early enough to enjoy a book on the beach. The weather was chilly but perfect. We like it a little chilly when we camp, who wants to sit around a campfire when its 90 degrees?
Speaking of 90 degrees, the hot has returned. I was hoping for a nice trip to the zoo with Gryffin this week but alas, no go.
Today we will kick back for a little while. I was planning on going to Fairview Heights to look for some pants for Gryffin and maybe some pillows to keep Java off the couch in the living room but it seems there is this massive man hunt for a psycho killer that has shut traffic down on the interstate. Nothing like a murderer to ruin your morning plans.

Argh, Matey!

I was in the middle of a nice relaxing bubble bath last night when Gryffin came running in screaming, "Argh, I'm a pirate!". Not a big deal, until I looked at him. "Look at my red eyepatch, Mommy. I'm a pirate." Yup, my child drew a red 'eye patch' on himself last night. Along with 'tattoos' all up and down both arms.

Yup, would've much rather spent the day with Chucky. I had to stop the dental hygienist from finishing because apparently the tears streaming down my face went unnoticed. Sadists. The government just needs to send this chick to Abhu Graib, the information would just flow. For those of you who don't know, I have TMJ which is a jaw disease that causes involuntary contractions of the jaw. Its like clenching your teeth so hard your eyes begin to pop over and over and not being able to stop. I can't open my jaw very wide or for very long so just a cleaning like I had done today is excruciating. Labor pains were easier to deal with! Hmmm, I wonder what kind of soup we have.

How much chuck can a Chuck up-chuck?

Tuesday when I took Gryffin to Day Out there was this poor little boy in his class that was screaming hysterically for his parents. It was his first day and he was not happy about it. He had worked himself into such a frenzy that as I helped Gryffin put his lunch in his cubby the kid (who shall henceforth be named 'Chucky') puked. Gryffin had been pretty calm up to this point but seeing Chucky up-chuck was traumatic enough to make him scream and grab hold of my leg with a vise like grip. I tried calming Gryffin down by reading him 'The Cat in the Hat' but Chucky was still screaming like a claustrophobic shut in a coffin. I was hoping/praying that the teacher would just escort him out of class until he calmed down but it didn't happen. Finally the teacher's aide came in and could see that Gryffin was distraught so she took over the book and pryed him off me. I left and by the time I had signed Gryffin in he was sitting in the aide's lap calmly. Chucky on the other hand was still screaming.
When I picked Gryffin up later than afternoon he was happily playing outside and had fully recovered. Chucky was still, yes still, screaming. The haggard teacher said that she had gotten him calmed down for a short period of time but for the most part he had been like this all day. I felt so sorry for her and for the kid.
This morning when I told Gryffin that it was Day Out day he did his best Chucky impression, sans yakking thank goodness. He told me it was too ucky to go to Day Out. Great, now my kid is scared to go because of Chucky. Stupid Chucky. I am preparing myself for meltdown when I take Gryffin this morning and I won't be able to stick around for a book because I have a dentist appointment. Considering how I feel about dentists I would rather hang with Chucky for the day.

The weather is so perfect today! It makes me want to go pick apples or walk around the zoo. Neither of which I've been able to do yet this year. I can't believe Gryffin hasn't been to the zoo yet. Last year we went about half a dozen times. I guess life just keeps interrupting my life. Hate it when that happens.

Tuesday...

Play date yesterday was much needed for all those in attendance and also much enjoyed.
Today is Day Out and cleaning. In Day Out they work with Gryffin on potty training, which I desperately appreciate. I am not pushing him. He's my kid and he's going to do it when he wants to do it. Of all the things to get from me, my stubbornness was not one I would've chose. He'll go on the potty once in a while, the rest of the time he just asks for a clean diaper. I try to get him to sit on the potty first but it usually doesn't work. I tried bribing him with reading books while he's on the throne. I tried stickers but that was a fiasco because he got all upset that I wouldn't let him put the stickers on the bathroom tile and tub. Maybe I need to try that again but give him the sticker after leaving the bathroom and giving him a designated place to stick it. We will see. I'm taking my time, a small reason is that its one more step away from babyhood. And since he will be my one and only child there are times I mourn the loss of my little baby boy but more often than not I rejoice in the wonderful child that is emerging.

Monday, monday

Not a bad start to the day, appliance repair man done and gone, cherry pie for play date in the oven, laundry in the washer, second cup of 'joe' on its way down, shower, bed made and kitchen cleaned. This is going to be a short and busy week. Mike took Friday off to go camping and there is a lot involved in getting ready for that. I have been asked to make a big batch of 'Hair On Your Nuts' to share at the campsite, along with a double batch of Jambalaya mix for Saturday night's dinner. Every year Mike has hosted a big camping/float trip for the cool kids at work. This will be the smallest and probably the last due to many people leaving for fear of being laid off when the big merger occurs after the first of the year. It is always a good time though. Mike always goes down on Friday while I wait until Saturday afternoon. I don't like canoeing. I much prefer sitting around a deserted campsite with a book and an exorbitant amount of bug spray. Besides, I don't think I could stand being away from Gryffin for two nights. Saturday night is spent around a campfire the size of Rhode Island, talking, imbibing to excess (usually) and betting when a certain attendee will either fall off the ledge or into the fire. Luckily, no one has ever been hurt (not counting hangovers). My favorite part of the whole thing is on Sunday morning. Its chilly and there's usually a misty fog in the air and is always quiet. There's nothing like waking up in the midst of nature, watching the sun come up. Oh yeah, and getting the opportunity to see how bad everyone looks in the morning.

I got big butt and I cannot lie

Ok fashion world, you're pissing me off. In fact you have been for the past few years. To make it easy for you to understand I have put my lecture into an outline:
I. Hip hugger jeans
A. Not for people with hips
B. Not for people under 18 or over 40
II. Skinny jeans
A. Should never be made in acid wash, even back in 84 when it was fashionable- the first time.
B. Should not come in any rise other than mid
a. High rise skinny jeans = prostimom
b. Low rise skinny jeans = prostiplumber
III. Distressed jeans
A. Dirty wash, the homeless look will never be in
B. Ripped- shouldn't have 'em if you don't earn 'em
IV. Button fly jeans
A. Can double as a chastity belt
B. Require diapers unless you're a champion texter and have super finger speed
V. Embellished jeans
A. Studs are for duds
B. If I want flowers on my ass I will get a buttineer

Next week my lesson will be, "Little Girls (women too for that matter) should not look like Bratz Dollz".

Now, if anyone can point me in the direction of the 'Under $40, skinny, dark wash, mid rise, no zippered ankle jeans department', I would really appreciate it.

Drumming to a different beat.

I did it, at least I think I did. I don't remember bitching about anything so I'll call it success.
Can't say I have anything to complain about today either. Especially since Gryffin slept through the night last night. YEAH!!! I woke up several times thinking that I heard him out of bed but alas it was not so. I even got up once only to find Java wandering about.
Today I am tackling the laundry pile. At least its a clean one. I don't know what it is about laundry that I find so challenging. Maybe remembering to put it in the dryer, or take it out, or fold it, or put it away. Yeah, I think that might be it. I know people who find doing laundry therapeutic. I envy those crazy broads. The only thing I find therapeutic these days are hot bubble baths, books and big glasses of wine. Luckily Mike lets me get therapy almost every night.
Just so others might appreciate the joys of my son, here is a video of one of his talents. (Plug your ears)

Mission Impossible

Today I am challenging myself to not complain- about anything. I have a very blessed life filled with loving people who support me, a home that is safe and comfortable, cars that are dependable and clean underwear. The latter just came about this morning after doing some laundry. Funny how clean underwear can make you introspective. Anyway, I am even continuing this challenge through my egg-donors visit this evening. Shouldn't be too hard, but don't think for a minute that this will continue tomorrow too.

Don't come a knockin' if the Country Clubs a rockin'

Last night the country club about a mile away put on a concert outside. No big deal, you say? Oh it was at our house. At first we thought Drunk Naked Guy had his radio cranked, that was the DJ. After that bit of annoyance there were two bands. Loud cover bands. Now I'm not going to rip cover bands, they are a true form of fandom; however, I will rip a cover band that plays a decent version of The Beatles, 'All You Need Is Love', only to follow it with a crap country song and some Jimmy Buffet. It literally sounded like these bands were in our back yard. Mike couldn't hear the TV, I couldn't sleep or concentrate to read and even closing the doors and windows didn't help it was so loud. About 11 pm I was so pissed I called the cops only to learn that the country club had a permit for this until midnight. MIDNIGHT! ON A SUNDAY! I went back to bed and fumed. I had finally fallen asleep about 12:30 and at 1:45 Gryffin woke up in a pee soaked bed. It was a long night, an even longer day today.
It seems the talk of the neighborhood today is this concert. No one was happy about it. Who can blame them, we had to listen to it but wouldn't have been allowed to see it because it wasn't open to the public. That's it, I'm not joining that country club no matter what! Besides I think the facts that I'm poor, I don't play golf and I prefer the company of real people would disqualify me anyway.

Bus 312 to Comatown, now boarding!

Ever get hit by a bus and not notice? Mike has been telling me all day that I just didn't seem right. Ok, so I had a little headache and was tired. Welcome to motherhood. After I put Gryffin down for a nap I laid down too. I woke up to Mike yelling through the window telling me that Gryffin was in our room jumping on the bed. Sneaky little booger, how can he have the grace of an elephant and be so quiet?! Anyway, I feel like I could just sleep the day away or at least crash on the couch watching totally toddler inappropriate movies- but instead its The Incredibles for the 967th time.
I guess it was Divine Intervention that kept me from going to see Beqi's band, http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=149237244, last night. I was in the car, on my way when all of a sudden the strongest desire for a relaxing bubble bath came over me. That and doubting that I would know anyone else at the show. When Mike was in a band I would walk into bars by myself, sit and watch by myself and feel like everyone was watching me. Not a good feeling in a town of crazies on booze.
I don't know if I'm getting sick or what. I just know that anything other than folding some laundry and changing a diaper or two is out of the question. Good thing Mike is outside going to church, what he calls mowing and working in the yard. He picks up my slack so well. I guess thats fair since I pick up his dirty socks.

The Adventures of Super Pickle

Today we took Gryffin to the St Louis Science Center for the first time. They were having a Marvel Comics exhibit so it was just as much for Mike as it was Gryffin. They both had a marvelous (hee hee) time. The Science Center also has a big dinosaur. The same one they had when I was a kid going on field trips. Gryffin really likes dinosaurs but not this one. He thought it was pretty cool, until it roared. That scared him a bit but he did like spotting Rex from far away.
He stocked up on the booty. A Spiderman poster, a picture of a comic book cover with him dressed as Spiderman and a new Stegosaurus stuffed dinosaur from Build-a-Bear. They actually have one of those inside the Science Center. Its pretty cool though, when it roars it doesn't scare Gryffin. He likes that dinosaur so much he insisted on taking it to the ice cream shop down the block tonight.

More potty talk.

It's Thursday. $10 off coupon day at the grocery, get the laundry done for the weekend day and hopefully get to take a nap day.
Last night was the first night in a while where Gryffin didn't wake up 1/2 way through, screaming in a urine soaked bed. He did wake up a couple times but as long as I'm not forced to changed drippy sheets in a semiconscious state its all good. He even woke us (Mike) up at 5:30 to sit on the potty. That makes me happy on two levels: 1. Mike got up and helped and 2. Gryffin didn't try it on his own. Last time he was in the bathroom by himself, unknown to us, he flushed the splash guard from his potty down the toilet. Now he has to pee with his legs closed and from what my husband told me, its not the easiest thing to do. But it did bring me to the realization that everything in the world comes in two sizes: flushable and nonflushable.
Luckily, Gryffin went back to sleep for a little bit and so did I. I was awoken at 7 by the pitter patter, which is really more of a thud-thud-thud, of Gryffin running into the family room asking where his fire truck was. He got a new fire truck yesterday and its kept him busy ever since. I swear if he could've figured a way to sleep with it comfortably he would have.

Off the hook, sort of.

Tonight was supposed to be my egg-donors visit since last week she had to cancel due to illness. Apparently she is still ill because she just called and cancelled this visit too. Woo-hoo! Yes, you might feel that I'm being cold in my wording. I am. This woman is always sick. Even when she is feeling healthy the state of her mind keeps her in the ill category. When I think of my muther I don't get the fond, warm fuzzies like most people when they think of theirs. I get the bitter, you f-ed with my head, cold shivers.
She feels that everything, I mean EVERYTHING is about her. She spent a half hour complaining about a going away party at church for a friend. No, HER friend. She was upset that she wasn't 'in' on the planning and didn't even find out about it until it was announced one night after service. She was upset that she wasn't asked to serve cake or punch at the party. OH MY GOSH! I don't believe a word of any of it as my sister-in-law took charge of the party planning because muther drops the ball on everything. This was not a party for her but for a member of her church yet she made it seem like she was the only one that even cared for this person. AAAaaaaa, it just blows my mind.
She proceeded to spend an hour whining, saying that she should just die because no one calls her or comes to visit or comes running to see if she needs anything when she's sick. Boo-hoo. No one does this because even if we did she would still find something about us to bitch about. Why go out of our way to be abused?
Then she started on the whole 'I was such a wonderful Mommy' spiel. That is when I just had to shut up because even though she never taught this too me, I don't kick a dog when their down. I just gave grunts and uh-huhs until I thought my phone was going to explode from all the crap coming over it.
Anyway, I'm done with this rant. I'm off to make some Beef Stroganoff for dinner. I hope reading this didn't put you in a bad mood because it was therapy for me.