I slept. Boy, did I sleep. There are few nights where I sleep through the whole night and last night was one of them. I don't know which exhaustion did it, physical or mental. Maybe both. Mike even had to tell me about Gryffin's 2 am demand for more milk. The kid is famous for coming to our bedroom in the wee hours, throwing his sippee into our bed and saying, "More milk" before trotting off to tuck himself back into bed. We hand him his demand, he rolls over and that's that. Man, did we luck out or what?!
Today is Day Out and Halloween costume preparation day. I have to fix Gryffin's and get mine together. I have a few options, all require shopping. I hate shopping. I'm hoping to get it over quickly and painlessly so I can maybe get some laundry done.
After Trick-or-Treating I'm heading out with the girlfriends to see Beqi's band at a club. We are all going in costume because: A. we refuse to grow up, B. we like being freaks anyway and this way no one gives us weird looks and C. we all need some fun. That and I think if we showed up sans costumes Beqi would threaten us with bodily harm. You don't mess with Beqi.
But right now, I've got to throw a lunch together for Gryffin and oh yeah, get dressed! Somehow I don't think the folks at Day Out would appreciate my jammies as much as I do. Especially since I refuse to match my PJ's and usually my ensembles would make a blind man cringe.

A Fine Mess...

Gryffin and Clara Jane

Gryffin painting

My Jello heart. Funny, no one wanted to eat any.

It was a small turn out but that was just fine. Gryffin and Clara had tons of fun decorating pumpkin after pumpkin. Even the adults got in on it.

Soup, sandwiches and some yummy sausage, cheese and wine Robin & Brian brought rounded out the evening.

Plans change...

So the Downtown Trick-or-Treating was cancelled due to none of us being dumb enough to drag our kids out in costume in the cold, wet, nasty weather. Selfish, I know. But we all still wanted to get together and have some fun. I came up with the idea of decorating pumpkins together. Everyone is coming over tonight to paint, glue, cut, color, feather and sparkle some poor, Innocent pumpkins. I'm making some soup, setting out some sandwich fixings and calling it a party. Another party?! I don't know if its having a bigger house or having friends or both, but either way I'm going to turn pro. Look out Martha! Instead of all sweater set wearing and pretentious I'll be sweatshirt wearing and realistic.
I've got a big plastic tub filled with googly eyes, pipe cleaner, glitter glue, sheets of construction paper and foam and I'm not afraid to use them! Lay tarps over the floor and bring on the unsuspecting squash 'cause its gonna get messy. I'm thinking the kids might even enjoy it too. If they don't, I have plenty of candy to make them smile.

Haven't had much to say lately, still don't but what the hell here goes...
Yesterday my MIL came over to watch Gryffin while I went to the doctor for depression. After a long discussion- he actually spent 15 minutes just talking with me about my symptoms, we decided that I shouldn't go back to what I used last time. I need not only an antidepressant but an anti anxiety as well. So I'm trying a med I've never been on and hope that it will work out.
Since I had the luxury of a babysitter I also picked up our new elliptical trainer. Luckily the muscle-head at the shop was willing to load it up for me. Put those steroid biceps to use, Mungo! Now we have a really heavy, expensive box sitting in our garage. We still need to assemble it and that may have to wait awhile as Mike has a sinus infection and can barely make it to the couch when he gets home. Mike doesn't get sick often, but when he does- he does it up right. Poor guy. All I can do is just try and keep Gryffin from jumping on him.
I HAVE HAVE HAVE to get Gryffin's pirate costume fixed. He ripped it taking it off. My friends and their chill'en are meeting downtown tomorrow for Downtown Trick-or-Treating. Basically, all the cutesy shops are doling out sugar loot to the bespectacled beggars. Then of course, there is Halloween! Wednesday Gryffin will get more cavity makers from the neighbors and afterward I will join the Monday Mommy Posse to see Beqi's show in St Louis. Uhm yeah, I will be costumed for that. Don't ask what costume or what I will be but Beqi made the request that we all get 'slutted up'. I'm not real good at that. I don't like a lot of makeup, I don't have any cleavage and exude sex appeal like an Amish grandmother. There is something to be said for understated sexy though. Lets face it, the imagination is usually better than reality.
For not having a lot to say, I sure have rambled on. So much so that my coffee is cold and that, my friends, is a crime against all I know to be holy.

I would give just about anything to have a small fraction of the energy Gryffin does. He awoke at 8 this morning, still wearing his Spiderman gloves and clutching his Spiderman doll from last night. He came running over to me, reaching out and jumped in my arms. Now there is a great way to start the day. Especially since his jammies were dry.
There is a lot on the plate for today: laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping. Not that I will get all or even half done today. Mike said that maybe I should stop trying to micromanage my days and just take one thing at a time. What? Dude, do you even know me? Yeah, he does and I think he's right. I spend so much time planning that I never really accomplish anything. One thing at a time today, baby steps.

So here is the humble beginnings of what will be a humble scarf. I'm hoping to finish it before the cold weather is done.

Knit one, drink two

Yeah! Mike was home a little before 6 last night, with card and roses in hand. Either I've really been really depressed or he's hiding a secret. Since I know which one of those options is true... my Dr's appointment is next Thursday. I'm going back on the meds. My fighting the mood isn't getting me anywhere. I can put on a game face and seem normal for a bit only to spend the night in tears. Not how I want to live.
Anyway, Mike crashed the dinner my friend Robin had invited Gryffin and I over for. Super yummy potato soup, salad and sandwich fixings. Anyone who puts bowls of cheese and crumbled bacon on the table will always rank high with me. After a little while, Beqi and the Eddies showed up. We cracked open the wine in celebration.
Before leaving I begged some knitting supplies off Robin. She knits really awesome things that just make so envious I could spit. She gave me Stitch N Bitch, the book she taught herself from, along with a set of needles and yarn.
After putting Gryffin down for the night I curled up on the couch and started to read. Ok, here it comes. Time to break out the needles and yarn. This looks easy. Hey, look at me, I'm knitting. Following directions, steady, steady. There! Wait a minute, this looks nothing like the cute, tidy little knots in the illustrations. I only succeeded in knitting a long succession of ugly knots. I pulled it all out and started again. Same result. One more time! One more knugly thing.
This morning I restarted with fresh eyes. Apparently my eyes weren't the problem. Yet another knugly, yes- I'm putting a patent on that word. Maybe I will just create a new way to knit or maybe I will stab myself through the brain with the needles or maybe I will just try to find a Knitting for Morons class. Or maybe I should just be thankful to have extraordinarily talented friends and pay them to make me things.

Mike has a meeting tonight that is scheduled for 24 hours. We are both hoping it doesn't last that long. With the big merger/buyout/sellout/fiasco his company is going through we hope/pray/beg that he has a job in the end.
The weather is grey and misty today. Funny, that's exactly how I feel. Yesterday was playdate and it was a good one. I had really struggled with whether I would go because of my attitude but Gryffin was begging to go to Clara Jane's. He had a great time and I did too. I always do. Sitting around eating until my eyes explode and laughing with friends does wonders. Robin was kind enough to invite us over for dinner tonight. I'm glad of it since Mike most likely won't be here which means Gryffin will need a distraction. That and I get out of having to cook.
Its picture day at Day Out and me being slacker mom, I'm waiting for Gryffin's clothes to dry. I should've washed them last night but I was exhausted, we all were. After dinner we all sat down for a little Batman/Superman cartoon watching and promptly all fell asleep. Luckily, after his power nap, Gryffin was still willing to go to bed close to his regular time.
Other than a little cleaning, laundry and a run for dog food I think I will just relax.

Today's Special: Ebola quiche!

Its Monday. Ugh, Monday.
I think I may have gotten 4 hours sleep last night, even after taking a sleeping pill.
Gryffin has his usual change of weather, night shattering cough that kept him up. So at least our miserableness didn't get lonely and we can be cranky together today. What joy we shall bring to playdate!
At about 3 this morning I thought that we just wouldn't go to Robin & Clara's house today, even though yesterday Gryffin declared his undying love for Clara Jane and demanded to go see her right then. A two year old Romeo stalker, just what Clara wanted for Christmas! Anyway, I didn't want any of the other moms to think that I was infecting their home and child with Ebola but then I realized that:
1. Gryffin doesn't have a fever
2. Other than a couple, he only coughs at night
3. He's up and playing like a tornado
4. He's had the night cough for over a week so if it were contagious they would already have blood coming out their eye sockets and be begging to eat a bullet.
He would long be over this but The Man decided to take away children's cold and allergy medicine because some toothless inbred couldn't read the freaking instructions and OD'd their kid on Benedryl. Stupid inbreds. I still have a small stash, but I'm hording it like my muther hordes old butter tubs. 'Cause its good Tupperware'. It might work a little better IF YOU WASHED IT OUT FIRST! Anyway, I digress.
Hording probably isn't the right term since just the mention of medicine makes him run screaming like a teenage girl faced with a snake. Or a grown woman, for that matter. It took Mike to hold flailing arms and legs while I shoved a little strip into his mouth last night. Since I'm on my own today I will probably lose a finger or two, but at least I won't have to make breakfast that way.

Good Neighbor Alert!
Yesterday Drunk Naked Guy trespassed into our back yard and shouted through our back door to let us know that Java got out twice and that he was kind enough to bring him back. Apparently, he wasn't sober enough to knock. At the same time Sara from next door came running over to the front door, and rang the bell like sane people, to let us know she just spotted Drunk Naked Guy in our back yard. She was checking on us to make sure we weren't all bloody and dead. Now, that's good neighboring, folks!

OK, up off the keester and in to the kitchen. I have to come up with something to make for playdate. I'm thinking a ham, broccoli and cheese quiche. I will let the Jedi mind power of the fridge lead me.

This weekend has been nice, but rough. Mike cleaned out the garage so I can now park the Jeep in it. He has also cleaned the kitchen, twice. We have a long standing arrangement that when I cook, he cleans up the kitchen. I try to keep the amount of dishes and mess at a minimum but sometimes slack on that. He does a great job.
We also went to the mall for some organizers for Mike's tool chest, a book for me and a cookie and train ride for Gryffin. They have this little kid size train that just goes around in a circle and an old fashion carousel. I always try and steer him to the carousel because on the train he has a meltdown as soon as it starts to move. When this happens the operator has to stop the train and either Mike or I climb aboard with him. It was my turn, so we went round and round for a bit and Gryffin really enjoyed it.
While Gryffin is now napping, I have some granola bars in the oven. Apple, apricot, pear, peach and prune with almonds, sunflower seeds and chocolate chips- yum! I call these the everything bars. Gryffin calls them power bars. Fitting I suppose.
Through all of this I have been fighting again. I really, really, really don't want to go back on antidepressants but if I'm having this much trouble this early in the season, it can't be a good sign. I know when I lose interest in cooking and keeping the house clean that its only the beginning. If I can rebound in a week or two then I don't consider medication. Its been a month. Maybe I should bite the bullet and go to the doctor. Get it over with and on with my life because there are way too many great things that I feel like I just can't enjoy.

Spiderman Saturday

Its chilly, overcast and perfect weather to curl up on the couch with a blanket and remote. Too bad that's a pipe dream when you have a two year old. However the reality isn't bad either, playing with said two year old and reading him books is pretty cool too.
Last night we went to the NEW Target. The closest one, until this week, has been a 20-30 minute drive down the highway into a really traffic congested town that only survives because its jam-packed with shops, malls and restaurants. No one actually lives there. Anyway, a Target finally opened up in our town and only about a 5 minute drive away. Yeah! Plus it has a bigger selection of just about everything.
We were perusing the $1 section, Mike spotted pairs of Superman and Batman socks for Gryffin while I spied some Spiderman gloves. Gryffin is obsessed with Superheros right now. He comes by it honest, Mike still wishes his real name was Bruce Wayne. Gryffin is also obsessed with gloves. Be it rubber cleaning gloves, Mike's old winter or work gloves or just a pair of socks shoved on his hands. When we got home I opened the Spiderman gloves and Gryffin just about danced he was so excited. So excited in fact, he insisted on sleeping in them.
This morning he is still wearing them and had to be reminded to take them off before submerging his hand in cereal and banana. That and he wanted to wear his Spiderman T-shirt today too. The kid is all boy. Which is exactly what I wanted.

Fashion isn't about the zoo animals...

This is The dress! Designer extrordinaire, Beqi is being camera shy.

Don't look at me like I'm crazy when you make me laugh like a school girl. As you can see the print on the dress is infact, pinups on motorcycles.

This is the Monday Mommy Posse.

Beqi, Jill, Robin and me.

Yesterday I went back to high school. Not really, just felt like it. It was Gryffin's first field trip with Day Out. When we arrived he had serious melt down at the prospect of me leaving. When I explained that I was going to stay with him he went all Chernobyl. For a half hour the kid screamed and cried. Other moms looked at me like I had demon spawn. I would rather have a kid with a tantrum than their roots. For crimeny, if you are going to dye your hair- keep it up. Anyway, when Gryffin realized that this meant he would get to ride on a school bus he promptly calmed down. All the kids, teachers and moms hopped on the bus and began singing Kumbaya. Not really, but it did have that 'I don't belong' feel. On the ride the other moms were talking of things I didn't understand, conservative politics, the latest Coach handbags and something about a cookbook by Jerry Seinfeld's wife where she puts spinach in brownies.

We all unloaded at the pumpkin patch and climbed on a tractor. Gryffin was really excited (and nervous). He just wanted to keep on riding but we had to pick out a pumpkin. I promised that we would ride back on the tractor but they wouldn't let us on without a pumpkin. This prompted a sprint of Olympic speed. Gryffin ran to the very back of the field, after picking himself up off the ground a few times. I think he totally lost track of finding a pumpkin because at the end of this field was a HUGE hill perfect for rolling down. I didn't think I could move that fast but I caught him before he hurled his little body down it. He was not happy. I tried to redirect and get back into the pumpkin thing but it was lost. Dragging him back through the field we spotted a pumpkin. He carried it for three seconds before throwing it to the ground insisting that I carry it and him. So, I pack muled up and carried them back to the tractor.

After that we settled in for a pig race that totally freaked him out. He didn't want to see those pigs run in a circle, he wanted to pet them. It was past lunch and nap time, so I knew that his frustration was due to hunger and exhaustion.

On the ride home it was pretty quiet, except for one of the teacher's kids screaming his head off for more popcorn. We were lucky enough to sit right in front of him. By the time we got back to Day Out the kid and his mom were both in tears. Don't get me wrong, I cry out of empathy, sympathy and frustration when Gryffin has a bad tantrum- but NEVER in public or in front of him. It only fuels the fire.

Gryffin said that he didn't want to stay at Day Out so I brought him home, fed, changed and put him down for a nap.

When Mike got home Gryffin showed him the pumpkin and I filled him in on the days events. Talking with him made me realize that even though I don't fit in most places and am easily intimidated, I don't act like a 15 year old spoiled brat with zoo animals on my boob and some strangers name on my purse or butt. They had problems with their kids dressing themselves and not matching, I let my kid wear a bucket as a hat and socks on his hands when we go out for dinner. They complain about getting dirty, I'm just thankful I don't dry clean. They complain about not being able to get their kids to eat veggies and my kid loves them.

I am truly blessed. A happy life is the best revenge so all those moms and the girls in high school that made my life hell can all bite me. Naa-naa-na-naa-naa and a big wet raspberry to them. Ok, so I haven't totally grown up.

A pumpkin for my Pumpkin

First ride on a school bus.

He kept referring to the guy on the tractor as PaPa. Hmm, I do see a resemblance.

First tractor ride. He was a little nervous.

Off in search of that perfect pumpkin.

I've already found mine.

Beautiful day for a headache

We opened up the house yesterday. The temperatures have dropped below Satan's comfort level and is now where we like it, chilly. I was planning on taking Gryffin to the zoo today but I awoke about 5 am with an axe between the eyes headache. Maybe more coffee will help. Heck, that is a remedy I'm always willing to try!
It came to our attention a few days ago that an old friend/coworker was looking for a place to live. She came and looked at our old house and thought it perfect. She really liked that the bathroom was big enough for her hair, and thats saying something folks and that the back yard was big enough for her five dogs. Yup, five. Ok, so I wouldn't be real thrilled with living next to that many dogs, but I've met them several times and aside from a hello bark they are pretty mellow. We told her what price we were asking and she wasn't put off so things were looking good until the city government decided to stomp on our toes. In the city of B'ville you cannot own more than three dogs without applying for a special zoning permit. I don't know what her thoughts were on this after Mike told her but I really don't expect her to buy our house now. It was like being adrift on a raft, seeing land in the distance and then realizing it was only a mirage. But we are still going to keep paddling. Through this whole experience we have learned that renting it out is not an option as our insurance would skyrocket and that we now know exactly what we would ask for it, which is a good 10 grand less than any other house in the neighborhood that is for sale right now. Silver lining, don't blind me.
Anyway, off to down more pain killers and coffee. It is the breakfast of champions, isn't it?

Argh Matey!

These boots are made for walkin'. Planks, that is. Someone decided he wanted to be a pirate for Halloween so being oh so handy with a sewing machine and with lots of time on my hands I ran to the nearest store and bought him a costume, complete with eye patch and telescope. Of course, now he refuses to take it off to change into jammies. I may have created a monster. A pirate monster.

I also picked myself up a Betty Page wig. Don't know what I'm going to do with it but hell, Betty Page!

The party is over.

Bosom Buddies: Beqi & Robin

Mike & Brian playing Guitar Hero, aka- Geek Guitar

I think everyone, including Mike and I, had a good time. At least, I didn't hear any complaints. I think my threat of a boot inspired butt kicking worked. I would love to post some pictures of the infamous dress but Robin hasn't forwarded them to me yet. I did wear the awesome shoes for most of the night. The last couple hours I kicked them off, walked around hillbilly style and let everyone know how lazy I am since I only painted the two nails that showed through the shoes.
I think our gayhbors finally realized that Mike and I are not the quiet, conservatives they once thought. In fact, the found out the exact opposite and now we have scored invites to their Christmas party. I'm hoping boa draped drag queens will be in attendance.

I think the next party will be Mardi Gras. A little jambalaya, red beans and rice and gumbo sounds really good.

How not to celebrate...

I bought me some sweet, sexy shoes to go with that awesome dress for the party. And how do I celebrate this major lifetime achievement? I break my little toe not 15 minutes later. That kind of talent will not win me the bouquet of roses and diamond tiara, folks. Does this mean I won't be wearing said sweet and sexy shoes? Hell no! So, if you are at my party and see me hopping around on one foot just know that:
A. I'm in pain
B. I'm a little clumsy
C. I sooo love these shoes
And if you feel that you must comment on my ridiculousness just be aware that I also bought a pair of black, patent leather, pointed toe, stiletto healed, dominatrix style, knee high, man-part puncturing boots and if need be I will whip them on and kick your wise crackin' butt with my good foot. And that talent should at least win me some daisies and a little paper party hat.

Park It!

Today we went to the Missouri Botanical Garden and had a blast. I must say, this morning I was not looking forward to this. Dreading it in fact. All I could picture was Gryffin running off yanking the heads off of pretty flowers, raising his head and giving his evil laugh. Only one plant ended up feeling pain and I made Gryffin apologize to it. Yeah, I'm one of those moms.

The following pictures were taken by new BFF, Mia. BFF, jeez I'm losing it. The exhaustion has officially set in. Anyway, thanks be to Mia for the great pictures because I'm a ding-bat and forgot the camera, again.

Lincoln Logs are even better when you can climb on them!

Ahoy, Matey! I be Pirate Poop Pants.

Whee!

Gryffin is convinced that under every bridge lives an angry troll. Here he was trying to catch one.

Now, I won't include any of the pics where Gryffin and his friends Clara Jane, Little Eddie and at times Big Eddie ran amok in the water park. I realized too late that I had neglected to bring a spare change of clothes. So I went all hillbilly and stripped him down to his diaper and laid out the drippy duds to dry in the sun. I know, most of you would just love to see these but I am saving them for his first date, prom and his wedding reception. Evil, evil Mommy.

Today we are heading to the Missouri Botanical Garden to meet friends and walk. And walk, and walk, and walk. I haven't been to the gardens for a long time, I think the last time we went while Gryffin was an infant and easily contained for a concert. Now, nothing contains him. I'm definitely wearing tennis shoes.
Ooh, ooh- good news alert! We sold the big red truck! Only slightly less than we wanted but enough to pay off my hearing aides before the interest hits. And one more BIG thing off our shoulders. After the party Saturday we can concentrate on getting next door cleaned up so we can decide what to do with it. We want to sell but if we find someone we know (well) who might need a place to rent we would do that, otherwise its the option of do we sell it ourselves or get an agent. Of course, none of this can even be seriously thought of until its scrubbed down and the painting finished. Along with getting the basement emptied.

Motorcycles and Mary Janes

So the only real thing I accomplished from yesterday's list was finishing The Watchman. I also started Batman: Year One. For any of you that know my husband, Batman is his hero. He wants a Batman tattoo, he must drink his weekend coffee out of his Batman cup and I swear, if they made Batman underwear in his size he would wear those too. He is a geek and I absolutely love him for it! It enables him to always remain in touch with his inner child and enjoy things on a completely different level than most.
Another reason I love my husband... he bought me the coolest dress from my pal Beqi, http://www.beqiclothing.com/index.html. Its a red spaghetti strap dress with an empire waist and the coolest pattern of pinup girls on motorcycles all over it. I plan on wearing it at our party Saturday with a little 50's style cardigan and some Mary Janes, if I can find a pair. Weird, used to be the only shoes I owned were Mary Janes. And no, I wasn't 6. More like 26.
Yesterday was spent with the usual Monday Sanity Session at Robin's. We all needed it. Amazing how one day a week can greatly improve the disposition of kids and mom's alike.
Today no goofing off for me. First, get Gryffin and myself ready to face the world, take him to Day Out and me to get the Jeep attended to. Then home to do some laundry and clean. A few days without vacuuming and the dust bunnies are multiplying like, well- bunnies. Then there is also the job of scouring the Internet and cookbooks for some good party grub. My life is rough, people.

Making Ta-Da's from To Do's...

So many of our friends won't be able to make it to the party Saturday, but that is ok. The handful that will be here are dear to us and that is the important thing. It also takes a little pressure off.
We have finally put some pictures up on the walls here. A little Pearl Jam here, some Hendrix there and a few guitars on the wall. Hmm, think we like music?
Mike took the ramps and made a lovely step at the front door. Yeah!
He also listed the truck for sale in Auto Trader.
What did I do you ask. Uhm, what did I do? I think I did a little laundry but other than that I'm not real sure. Guess I better start pulling my weight around here this week.
Lets see, personal To Do's:
1. Finish all laundry
2. Finalize the party menu, make shopping list and do the shopping
3. Dust and vacuum, AKA- dust bunny wrangle and sneeze fest
4. Clean, clean, clean and oh yeah, clean
5. Get the oil changed in the Jeep before the engine falls out and have them clean it inside and out because it smells like old french fries
6. Finish The Watchmen, a graphic novel Mike gave me to read. I thought a graphic novel was a comic book but its not really. I've really enjoyed it and plan on reading more of them.
7. Go to the Botanical Gardens with friends on Wednesday and try not to think of all the stuff that I should be doing and enjoy myself.
That should just about do it. Now, its up to you to hold me accountable. I guess if I fail my punishment should be something really heinous like having to eat my muther's Snickerdoodle cookies or going through the line at the grocery with the checker that never shuts up and takes forever. This chick actually picks up things and asks what I'm going to make with it. She gives me the creeps.